Wednesday, January 8, 2025

A Vegatarian Diet for My Dogs!?and Heavenly Day

 As a little girl of about six or seven, I remember sitting at our family's formica kitchen table, in a chrome and plastic chair, eating dinner. As usual, meat was on our plates. It was an ugly brown color with a strange texture. The vegetables and potatoes were recognizable, but the brown blob on my plate? Not so much! I don't remember exactly when I learned that the brown blob used to be part of a live animal that was killed and then put in front of me to eat. Even at that age, I knew something was wrong with the whole idea that animals were food. I couldn't verbalize or question adults at the time, but I knew. 

Sitting at that table, I couldn't bear to put the unrecognizable body part in my mouth. As always, our beautiful boxer Taffy, sat under the table, waiting for a morsel to fall so she could gobble it up. Taffy loved all food, whether meat, veggies, fruit,  or the horrible white bread of the 50s. She ate it all with superb joy. 

My mother would tell me that I wouldn't be excused from the dinner table unless I ate the meat. I groaned with disgust! But, I figured out that if I slowly slid the meat from my plate onto the floor while no one was looking,  I'd be excused. And that I did! I'm sure Taffy was ecstatic! Fast forward to now, January 2025. I haven't eaten an animal for almost 40 years, and have excluded animal products from my diet for ten years.

In 2024 I lost my two beautiful Australian Shepherds four weeks apart. Milo and Rosco. And seven months later, our sweet Tasha. 






On January 25th Milo collapsed one morning unexpectedly. The day before, he seemed fine. We rushed him to the vet where they found that a mass behind his spleen had ruptured and he was bleeding internally.  We had to make the horrific decision to have him euthanized.  With lots of research, I found the name for the mass that burst; hemangiosarcoma.  Four weeks later, Rosco died of the same thing. Only his was a slow bleed.  He was euthanized at home. They weren't of the same litter. Tasha, our Pug/Aussie mix died in November of what I believe depression and old age. She was never the same after Milo especially, died. It makes me ill with sadness to think of the deaths of my sweet dogs.  










From the 1950’s until now, cancer has increased at an alarming rate according to the International Agency for Research of Cancer. And those statistics are only about humans.   The Institute for Responsible Technology said a study was done that shows a link of cancer in dogs, to lawn pesticides.  (by  | Jan 14, 2020 | News) The cows we kill, the wheat we eat all live on or grow in the soil soaked in pesticides.  And all are linked to the food our dogs and us humans, eat.  My point for the above information is to show factors that cause cancer.  Not just cancer in humans, but also in animals. As I looked long and hard trying to find when cancer was first reported in pets, I found very little. However,  the 1960's dogs and cats were becoming more accepted as a family member. This prompted the beginning treating pets with cancer.

Another fact I want people to think about is how we've totally domesticated, or modified, our furry babies from wolves to submissive, mostly stay at home pets. I hear and read so much about how great a raw meat diet is for our dogs. That could be true if you know exactly where the cow comes from, what it ate, and how it died. All of that information will tell you about toxicity.  Regarding how the animal died to become food is a level of poison itself. Critical thinking skills alone will tell you that injesting another living being's pain and suffering can't be healthy. 

There is a theory called the Web of Energy which suggests that all things are connected. This theory is backed by science. So, if it's true, the energy of an animal who has been tortured,  recieved pain and suffering, even the psychological torture of knowing that it's about to die, will enter the body of humans who injest that animal. 

Back to the fact that most dogs have had their wildness bred out of them for hundreds of years. We know how most domestic dogs are probably 100% dependent on humans, and if we have pets, then we're responsible for their well-being.  It's kind of sad really, knowing that dogs were once independent of humans,  were wild, and only depended on themselves and nature.  Yet that's how humans have screwed up our earth and other living beings . That's also why I clearly question the raw diet, kibble, canned, or any other pocessed food made for dogs. 

 Our pet dogs don't hunt for their food anymore, they wait for humans to feed them. I've been questioning all diets for dogs. And while I've decided to give my dog human grade, mostly organic, food, I also feed them lots of wild caught salmon, free range eggs, ground turkey and freeze dried liver. 

Because I'm a vegan, I looked up  vegatarian and vegan dog diets.  Now I'm questioning whether the meat, fish, organic greek yogurt I feed them, goes against my personal moral ethics. 

Just mentioning removing animal protien from my dog's diet to ANYONE, and I'm immediately shut down.  "Dogs need meat protien! They're carnivores!!!" That's the very firm, dismissive reply I get. It seems taboo to even bring the idea of a vegetarian dog into a conversation. 

When I became a vegetarian almost forty years ago, it wasn't a very popular diet, to say the least. I was viewed as weird and unhealthy.  Most people said the same thing: "You need animal protien, humans are carnivores". It's the exact same thing that's said about a dog's diet today. I'm positive the meat industry is happy that so many humans believe their lies. 

After the death of Milo, we adopted Enzo, our Aussie/Great Pyreneese, he'll be five soon. Four months later, we rescued Elliot, an Aussie, who was on the euthanasia list at the local shelter. He too, is around five. These dogs, especially Elliot because I believe Milo sent him, are tuly the joy of my life. I want to make know I'm doing all that I can to make sure they live long and healthy lives. I have so many regrets about Milo, Rosco and Tasha. So many that I think about at 2am any given night!













I'll be honest, I've wondered if I can give my sweet dogs a vegetarian diet that satisfies their hunger, but also provides them with clean, whole foods. I'm wondering if there's a diet that fills all their nutritional needs without eating dead animals.

I haven't come to any decision, that's for sure, but if you're a person that truly questions, the below is an amazing read. It's from a July 12th, 2024 PUNCH interview with Martha Rosenberg,  author of Big Food, Big Pharma, Big Lies.


"Few Americans realize that the food sold to us – especially meat – is often banned in other countries. For example, the European Union will not import our hormone-saturated meat, which EU medical officials link to breast and prostate cancer. Asian countries reject the growth drug ractopamine, which is endemic in US agriculture because it produces more weight on animals and thus more profit for meat raisers. To retard bacterial growth, chickens here are dipped in chlorine, which has caused other countries to reject our poultry exports. The notorious “pink slime” – which caused an uproar in US ag markets but is still legal – is made by treating ground beef with ammonia puffs to retard the growth of E. Coli. But ammonia is not allowed in many other countries’ food chains. "

With the help of the internet,  many people are figuring things out and trying to eat whole, unprocessed,  organic, cruelty free food. Personally, because of how domesticated dogs are, I believe that what's good for humans is good for dogs. And what's bad for humans is bad for dogs. 

When Covid hit, and thousands of people began to die, scientists were scrambling to find answers. There was a study that involved groups  of vegatarians and vegans. In that study, they found that these groups were more resistant to the virus. When the vaccines came out, those studies stopped.

There has been all kinds of evidence that prove a vegetarian or vegan diet is extremely healthy. So...why not with dogs?

Before you judge me and claim I'm wrong to even question,  just remember, mostly all humans who changed the world began by asking radical questions.

I want what's best for my dogs. I want them to live long lives. Because MY life depends on it.







Patty Griffin wrote this about her dog. Doesn't get much sweeter than that!







Thursday, December 26, 2024

My Christmas Miracle

 The day after Christmas, and all seems well. This was the second year of my life that I spent Christmas Eve only with my husband. It was quiet and uneventful...except for one moment. My sweet daughter came over with a bottle of wine and homemade cookies.  She wanted us to know that we really weren't alone, she was thinking of us. It was a touching moment that very clearly shows her beautiful heart.

We were only married a few months, living in England in a neighborhood that was less than avereage, but I loved everything about our old grey street. It was 1976, and I thought that all the kids walking home from school with their hair tied neatly on top of their heads, were girls.  I quickly learned they were Sikhs. Little boys.  

When I learned I was pregnant, I just thought it was the flu hanging on too long, a surprise indeed! My husband rode his bike to and from his job where he worked on a golf course.  That evening, after I learned the news, I waited anxiously for Phil to come home. He was barely in our little back door that led to our tiny kitchen, when I meekly told him the news. I was pregnant.  The look on his face was actually a look I had never seen before,  or since; surprise, resignation,  speechless, with only a sweet smile on his lips, and an innocent humility in his eyes.

 We were having a baby! This child in my womb was a huge surprise because it wasn't in our life plan. A few things in my so called plan had already fallen to the wayside. The main one was that I would be accepted into nursing school,  in England shortly after we were married. I had already been accepted to a nursing school in the US after trying very hard to prove that this former hippy could be responsible, learn, and be an empathetic,  efficient  care giver. The plan was, we would have a baby four years after marriage,  but instead it was four months, and the hope of school was just a memory. 

After much thought, and seven months of pregnancy, we flew back to the States. Flew "back" for me, and first time in the States for my husband,  Phil. I remember so many wonderful details about that adventure; the flight over the ocean with so few people that I was able to lie across three empty seats and sleep comfortably most of the way, the drunk American in New York that gave us $10, and Phil looking out of the airport window in childlike awe of the giant cars we drove.

We lived with my parents, in my old bedroom for a few months before we found a place of our own. There was a baby shower with wonderful gifts for our new little one and lots of love and support from family and friends. We had everything we needed to begin our journey of parenting.  Then, two months later, it was clearly time to go to the hospital and meet the beautiful infant.  However, after twenty-four hours of labor, and pushing as hard as I could, it was decided I'd have a C-Section. She was stuck inside  my body!

In those days, forty-seven years ago,  the mother was put under general anesthetic when having a C-Section. When I woke, I was being wheeled to a recovery room when I saw  there, in the hospital hallway, next to me, in something that looked like a fish tank, was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. Wide, dark eyes, and lips that truly looked like a tiny rosebud. My baby girl. Shauna Michelle was born, July 25th, 1977.

The joy, love and incredible promise she has brought me is undescribible. Forty-seven years later, just her existence in this world has changed so many for the better, including myself, and her own children. 

This year, for me, has been one of change, loss, and letting go. It's been hard. Shauna has supported me without judgment or trying to help or control. Honestly,  I've been a little calloused, but desperately seeking something to wake me from negativity, something to bring me faith and hope again. So the other night I asked God for some sign, or miracle, to thaw my cold heart. I wanted something big, bright, shiny and obvious; a flame of firey proof that there was still good on earth. And of course the answer was quite the opposite,  but nevertheless, it seemed like the only, obvious truth: listen to that still small voice deep inside that moves towards love. 

But wait! There's more! Not long after my answer, which I succumbed to, my daughter called and said she'd be over in a few minutes to drop something by. When that happened, I knew there was so much more in her heart, so much love, for me; for Phil and me. 

That was MY Christmas miracle.

 And as the very nature of a miracle is, it radiates through your entire life, IF you're willing to listen with your metaphorical heart.

My miracle baby girl has given so much love and good in this grey old world, that to those in which her path has crossed, there is sweet light. And to me, she is a warm glow of joy!

Right now, that's miracle enough for me.

"This is plenty of a miracle for me to rest in now." Anne Lamott




Sunday, December 22, 2024

Father Up Above, Why in All This Hatred...

 It's Sunday morning and I'll soon be getting ready for church.  One evening not too long ago,  we had our new neighbors over for a glass of red and good conversation.  As we shared who we were with each other, our new neighbors shared that they were "believers". 

We realized we had many beliefs in politics and religion in common as the evening went on. They said they were actively looking for a spiritual community where they would feel at home. I haven't been to what I consider my church, in a long time, but eagerly told them about The Well, a progressive, welcoming, inclusive church in our area.

I'm not going to lie, my faith has dwindled to nothing but a tangled web of questions, punctuated with huge clouds of doubt.  But this niche I'm in, is not unfamiliar.  I've been here many times before, with each visit becoming more profound. It's not a comfortable corner to occupy, nevertheless, here I am. 

Years ago, I read that if you want to completely simplify life, you can divide it into two things: love and efficiency. Or, even more understandable, the mind versus the heart. The logical, organized mind that can divide knowledge into categories that make sense, and the metaphorical heart, which is where all sorts of emotions live. At times, they spar and argue with each other. It's interesting to watch it all play out. The worst scenario is, that nothing is played out, and too many thoughts and feelings are left open-ended and unresolved.

So, at a neighbor's Christmas Party, we were visiting with our new neighbors who told us they had been going to "my" church and really liked it. When I told them I was going to go on Christmas Eve, they let me know that Christmas Eve service was actually this morning. They invited us to go.

Here I am, getting ready soon, to visit this church that I haven't been to in a long time. Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel.  Maybe it'll be the light that the wise men saw which led them to the baby they heard about. A bit of hope in a very dark desert. But that's another blog isn't it?

One thing I really believe is that Jesus once existed here, in the middle east, on our earth. I wonder often what he was really like. Walking around in the desert, no modern conveniences. I strongly believe  that he was nothing like the way American's evangelical churches paint him. 

He was a revolutionary, for sure! And he stirred up a lot of shit with the religious people. I really wish I could time travel and hang out with him. Maybe I can. And so it goes!


"She was his girl,

He was her boyfriend.

She be his wife,

Take him as her husband.

A surprise on the way, any day, any day.

One healthy little giggling dribbling baby boy.

The wise men came three made their way

To shower him with love

While he lay in the hay.

Shower him with love, love, love

Love, love, love

Love, love, is all around


Not very much of his childhood was known.

Kept his mother Mary worried

Always out on his own.
He met another Mary for a reasonable fee,
Less than reputable as known to be.

His heart was full of love, love, love
Love, love, love
Love, love, is all around

When Jesus Christ was nailed to the his tree
Said: oh, Daddy-o I can see how it all soon will be...
I came to she'd a little light on this darkening scene
Instead I fear I spilled the blood of my children all around.
The blood of our children all around.

So the story goes, so I'm told,
The people he knew were
Less than golden hearted.
Gamblers and robbers,
Drinkers and jokers, all soul searchers,
Like you and me!

Rumors insisted he soon would be
For his deviations
Taken into custody by the authorities
Less informed than he.

Drinkers and jokers
All soul searchers
Searching for love love love
Love love love
Love love is all around

Preparations were made
For his celebration day
He said: eat this bread and think of it as me 
Drink this wine and dream it will be
The blood of our children all around
The blood of our children all around
The blood of our children all around

Father up above, why in all this hate
Have you filled me up with love, love, love
Love, love, love
Love, love is all around

Father up above, why in all this anger
Have you filled me up with love"




Friday, December 13, 2024

The Christmas We Get We Deserve

 

Frankly, the year of The Pandemic was easier than 2024. This year was like the end of a fire when there's nothing but embers and ashes. Always a slight chance that the once bright blaze will be revived to its beautiful beginning.  But instead it just fizzles out and turns into dusty, grey cinders. Every time !!! 

That's 2024's  metaphorical life. All year long!

They say there's a child living deep inside each of us. I used to  think how silly that idea was. I used to laugh and make jokes about it. Be careful what you make fun of, it will bite you in the ass with its truth!!! 

I discovered my own inner child years ago during a counseling session. She was alive and well living out all ages in the center of my soul; wanting attention.  

It's Christmas again.  Lights, ribbons, trees, garland, and candles shining brightly. It has always been my most favorite time of the year. For reasons a little too numerous to mention, the excitement has faded. 

My year started out, as many of my readers know, with a diagnosis of Chronic Lymphocytic Luekemia. (It's not as bad as it sounds!) And then the domino effect of the deaths of my two beloved Australian Shepherds four weeks apart.  That was the first two months.

However, this was the big year for our country, an election year. The race began slowly and painfully until July 21st. Biden stepped out and escorted Harris into the competition. Kamala Harris was running for president,  a black woman filled with joy, confidence, and hope for a kinder America! Stars of silver and gold, twinkling brightly as a sign of hope.

It was so exciting watching an intelligent woman run for president of, what I thought, a great country. The debate with her opponent, an offensive, old, white man,  showed she had grace and wisdom the minute she walked towards him and extended her hand. The handshake is a symbol of expressing one's intention of peace. He was hesitant.  He isn't about peace. But he won the election. 

Harris's opponent winning the election was a type of death for me as well. Coming to terms with the fact that the majority of citizens in my country are stupid enough to vote for someone who tells them that immigrants are eating their pets, was a hard pill to swallow. (When in fact a white girl, born and raised in the United States actually did kill and eat a cat.  An American citizen!!!)

Another ember in my metaphorical fire abruptly went out. I decided not to watch the news as I looked at homes for sale in England. It helped divert my attention to hope for the future in my own little world.

Thanksgiving! The introduction of the "most wonderful time of the year". My loving daughter has hosted this holiday at her beautiful home the last couple of years. The night before the festivities, I went to her house and helped begin the season with garland and lights  I arrived early Thanksgiving day,  to work on the finishing touches. Doing those little things gives me joy.

We all had a great afternoon, and as evening came, people gathered round the outside fire to chat and play fireside word games. Fortunately,  I was relieved when we didn't do the tradition of going person to person saying what we were thankful for. The only thing I could have honestly expressed was, being grateful the year was coming to an end. I don't think anyone wanted to hear my negative attitude. 

After warm moments with family, we headed home. When we walked in, we immediately saw that Tasha, our oldest four legged family member for thirteen years, was rapidly decling. It was painful to watch. She died two days later.

Here, I have to note, there were actually two good things that came from 2024; the adoption/rescue of our two beautiful boys, Enzo and Elliot. They really did fit the cliche' of "they rescued me".

Christmas is twelve days away. My deep nostalgia has already come forth with memories of celebrating at my grams and gramps house, long strings of silver tinsel hanging from our freshly cut tree adorned in colored lights, with the grand finale of a huge dinner prepared by my Gramma and Mimmy, my great grandmother.  I have to mention my grandmother's teasured, silver, aluminum Christmas tree with a circular colored spotlight rotating and reflecting on it, was a thing to behold!  Very retro now!

Memories slide through my mind like images on an old movie projector.  Another home appears, hazy at first, but focusing in, I see a teenager, sixteen, and it's my parents house, Christmases at my grandparents long gone. But Christmas Eve, at mom and dad's,  even better. I'm with my boyfriend, we're all opening presents, and a table of meats, cheeses, breads, chips, cookies and candies beautifully laid out for us to help ourselves.  Later, it would be my boyfriend and me heading out for midnight mass. 

The images slide on to  visions of my siblings and me as adults with our own families. My mother's Christmas Eve lived on! 

When dad died, everything changed. A few more Christmases at mom's and then she too, was no more.

My husband, our kids and myself moved further away from my childhood home and I carried on the Christmas Eve tradition for about fifteen more years. Last year I knew I was done.  So, 2024, there will need to be a new tradition for my husband and myself. Our kids have growing families and in laws to think about.

This long blog is coming to an end. I hope you've read this far; even more so, I hope you've enjoyed sharing memories with me.

Through all of this, the years have stolen my idealism,  and my hope in humanity. This year especially,  I've had more thoughts on the line of what if....about my long held faith in God. 

A friend of mine sent me a video out of the blue this morning.  It inspired this blog. A video of Greg Lake and Ian Anderson (Jethro Tull) singing 'I Believe in Father Christmas'. If you don't have a listen, please read the lyrics:

"They said there'll be snow at Christmas
They said there'll be peace on Earth
But instead it just kept on raining
A veil of tears for the Virgin's birth
I remember one Christmas morning
A winters light and a distant choir
And the peal of a bell and that Christmas tree smell
And their eyes full of tinsel and fire

They sold me a dream of Christmas
They sold me a Silent Night
And they told me a fairy story
'Till I believed in the Israelite
And I believed in Father Christmas
And I looked to the sky with excited eyes
'Till I woke with a yawn in the first light of dawn
And I saw him and through his disguise

I wish you a hopeful Christmas
I wish you a brave new year
All anguish, pain and sadness
Leave your heart and let your road be clear
They said there'll be snow at Christmas
They said there'll be peace on Earth
Hallelujah, Noel, be it Heaven or Hell,
The Christmas we get we deserve. Greg Lake lyrics


















Friday, December 6, 2024

The Racing Mind and Sleepy Heart

 





Last night, while lying in my bed, my mind was doing its regular racing around. It's a normal thing, I guess. The racing is random and moves from future, to past, and it tells me to relive and ponder the moments of my life. It almost never pauses and sits quietly still in the moment. 

However, it did shine its light on my present situation. I'm not gonna lie, I'm getting older rapidly, and that alone has the ability to cause me to have a "poor me" type attitude. Maudlin!  I believe the mind, clearly,  has different functions from the metaphorical heart. It has no emotions, just information, problem solving, planning skills, and so on. I don't believe it tells the heart how to feel, but it's pretty damn influential! The emotions probably spar a lot with the mind.

Sometime, in late December,  last year, I wrote a letter to God. It's a tradition that has faded out, but I've been doing it alone. The way it goes is, at the end of the year, preferably New Year's Eve,  you ask God, via the letter, for things you'd like to see happen in the coming year. You put it in an envelope,  seal it, and it’s not to be open until the following new year. Every time I've opened that little envelope, there have magically been wishes on my list that have come to pass. For a few years,  all of the things on my list materialized.

The other night, I decided to open my letter. I had a list of about twenty things that were written down. I thought seeing a few things on my list would cheer me up...give me hope. As I opened the pretty gold, well sealed envelope, I saw the folded, lined paper of my letter.  I took it out, unfolded it and read.

Not. One. Single. Thing. Happened!  

POW!!!

Of course, my friend, anger  rushed forward trying to help. It didn't!

Anyway, if you've read my blogs lately, you know they've been sort of downers. Not without good reason though! I write this blog for me. They're truly thoughts and words from my heart. 

As I mentioned earlier, my mind was doing its racing, and would stop in different places. Sometimes the emotionless mind can be my friend. The idea of gratitude came forward and my heart sleepily woke up. (Sometimes becoming calloused and denying emotions of their rightful place in my life, is the only place to turn, just to get through the day!)

The feeling didn't last long, but the realization did. I have it pretty damn good! I really do! I thought of all I have:  the security that surrounds me in the form of my dogs (of course!), my family who are healthy and relatively happy as far as I know, my fantastic friends (I love you Carolyn!), my husband, my home, living in a place where there are 299 days of sun a year, which leaves only 66 days of grey skies, and I don't worry about rent, or a house payment. I'm so very grateful for our casita, that makes money for all the extra luxuries in our lives. (I never in a million years thought buying a house would be a source of income.  Thanks to Phil and Ian for talking me into it!)

Yeah, gratitude is powerful. But giving is just as powerful, if not more so.

To summerize my rambling blog, my mind and tired heart were able to show me a few things I started not to care about. They showed me the "magic", but true formula for peace: being grateful and generous!


"How 'bout getting off of these antibiotics?

How 'bout stopping eating when I'm full up?
How 'bout them transparent dangling carrots?
How 'bout that ever-elusive kudo?

Thank you, India
Thank you, terror
Thank you, disillusionment
Thank you, frailty
Thank you, consequence
Thank you, thank you, silence

How 'bout me not blaming you for everything?
How 'bout me enjoying the moment for once?
How 'bout how good it feels to finally forgive you?
How 'bout grieving it all one at a time?

The moment I let go of it
Was the moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it
Was the moment I touched down

How 'bout no longer being masochistic?
How 'bout remembering your divinity?
How 'bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out?
How 'bout not equating death with stopping?

Thank you, India
Thank you, providence
Thank you, disillusionment
Thank you, nothingness
Thank you, clarity
Thank you, thank you, silence" Alanis Morissette