The dogma had crumbled and the community had been long gone. Yet I, indeed, was left with faith in God and all the powers that be which are not visible to the human eye. For me, going to church is a ritual, a habit, a tradition that I choose for my life. I don't go there "looking for God". I see God, when I let myself , all around me. It's true that God is everywhere, and if I open my proverbial eyes to see I am able to see God in all things. I guess the real trouble is, those seeing moments don't come often enough, for whatever reason. I want more. But don't we all? I'm a firm believer that there truly is a God shaped hole in each of us, if we're honest, we will admit to that fact.
When I was young I saw a trend in the church; most older people didn't want to go. That disturbed me because I actually I felt they had so much to offer. Now that I'm one of those "older" people, I get it. I don't want to appear to be the type that says I have already heard what is being said at church and now it's just a repeat, but it's true. Most of the time I go to church, listen to the message, and I've heard it before. It's almost like going back in time and listening to the same sermon, yet again. Please, don't get me wrong..I am not saying this is bad or good...I'm just saying this is the way it is and that's okay.
(some of you may "get" this picture...wink wink!)
I still want 'going to church' to be part of my life, part of my weekly routine I like the habit of getting up on Sunday and going to a place where people sing and talk about Jesus.
I'll still look for glimpses of the mystery that is beyond this life, and I'll pray always, and I will go, with other believers, on a Sunday to sing and listen. But deep down, I want more.
