Christmas Eve, 2016

It's Christmas Eve, 2016.  It's a Saturday morning and I'm having alone moments.  My husband took our three pups to the park and I'm contemplative in the calm before the festive storm.  Sitting here thinking of people's stories and what makes them who they are. The other day as I was getting my hair done, a woman began telling me her story.  Her mother died in May, she was 90.  A few days after the funeral a woman  told her she was adopted; that her mother was not her biological mother. This woman is in her 50's.  Can you imagine?  I was full of questions.  I asked her if she ever felt as if  her mother  tried to tell her the truth about her unknown genealogy.  She told me while on her death bed her mother asked her, "What color are my eyes?"  The daughter, thinking  she was just probably delirious because she was so close to death, dismissed it and just answered, "My eyes are green mom."  The mother continued.  "What color are my eyes?"  And the daughter answered again, "Yours are blue."  "What does that tell you?", the mother responded.Apparently the woman tried to tell her daughter she was adopted; that she wasn't the birth mother.

When my mother in law was about eight years old she was in a horrible accident .  She was bedridden for probably a year.  A motorcycle hit her and she almost had to have her leg amputated.  Back in those days it would have been immediately cut off,if not for her very strong, stubborn mother. Unfortunately, my mother in law's accident molded her with bitterness, fear and a victim mentality.  Don't get me wrong, she was strong and had good points, but it was obvious she would not forgive the driver who hit her.

We all have stories. We all have issues.  And they affect our lives.  For the good, or for the bad, the things that happen to us shape us and mold us to make us who we are.  The thing is though, we decide how the events in our lives shape us. For the bad, or for the good?  We choose. Whether we want to believe it or not, we have control over how we react and how we will perceive life.   It's not easy sometimes, I know for sure, to let the tragedies, the odd twists, and the hidden secrets help make us better people.



This last year, 2016,  has been good to me.  I'm hoping 2017 will be even better.  Although I'm in denial about who has been chosen to lead this country of ours, I'm still hoping for the best.  I have decided to let the next four years mold me into a stronger person. I've decided to let this help me follow Martin Luther King, Jr, Gandhi, and my favorite, Jesus, examples by making sure that love and peace wins out over hate, prejudice and especially fear. Not an easy task!!  I decided  a long time ago that if something causes fear, I will intentionally move far away.  Fear is not of God, as the bible says.

My daughter in law and son will be welcoming their first baby into our world. A boy!  They will call him Brighton, Brighton Mac.  I am totally in love with this name. It moves my heart and now I feel as if I know him.  It's a strong, powerful name.  I can't wait to see him.  I imagine he'll have the same beautifully, shining black hair as his father, and probably green or blue eyes.  Both his parents are so good looking it would make you jealous.  And their spirits?  Wow...both mother and father are strong willed, passionate and extremely loving.  Brighton (I love saying that name) will be his own boy, someday, his own man.  I hope the he chooses to let love and forgiveness mold the stories in his life.



So, it's time to wash, vacuum, set up and get ready for a day filled with love, giving, and hope. Hope for the future.  Hope for my children and grandchildren.  I am one lucky woman to have such an amazing family who love me and their father as we are. They have loved us through the good and the bad.  Thank God for them; they are indeed a gift to us.  Prayer and hope go hand in hand, and I'm a woman of hope.  I hope this year my faith, especially,  will only become greater.  And to everyone I truly wish you peace.  Peace to you,  and peace for our small, imperfect planet.



Love to you!!!!

Couldn't end a blog without Dave, now could I?  I hope you listen!

Trump's America

I've been feeling a blog coming on for a while...so here I go.  It' a while since the election. I still have not been on facebook for the simple fact that I don't want to have that negative energy implemented in my soul.  Yes, it's about the election. Yes, it's about the dufus who will soon be our president.

One of the best reads about after the election blues was written by Garrison Keillor, whom I've always loved reading and listening to.  Here he quotes what I feel:

"He will never be my president because he doesn't read books, can't write more than a sentence or two at a time, has no strong loyalties beyond himself, is more insular than any New Yorker I ever knew, and because I don't see anything admirable or honorable about him."

But for me and many others, life goes on.  I will make every effort to live in denial for the next four years, burying myself in interior decorating, keeping my three dogs brushed and trying to convince people to go vegan.  However, the glimpses of headlines don't escape even the most sincere person trying to live in political denial.  

What bothers me the most are the day to day experiences.  The headlines I can quickly skim  over and pretend I didn't see them.  But the other night I was at a Christmas party, I didn't know anyone except my husband.  Most of the people there were conservatives who probably voted for Trump. Inwardly I prayed politics wouldn't come up, but it did.....I bit my tongue, smiled and patiently didn't say a thing.  I was so good!  Then, a very white lady with hair that looked like a brown puff that encased her head like a rain cloud spoke up. She had been talking and laughing and having a good ole' time the whole night. She obviously knew everyone there and on top of seeming pretty confident with her own personality,  she won all the little Christmas games we played.  She was on  a role. I sat and smiled and asked the right questions you ask when you don't know people. The night was almost over, I felt triumphant that I held myself together and stayed carefully away from any topic that was controversial.   I was ready to go. Then I heard this woman, with the brown rain cloud of hair, across from me, say, "Yeah, Trump's wall that he's going to put to separate "Brown Town from Arizona."  

I was in total dismay.  It was clear that's what she said.  "Brown Town"....."Trump's Wall" .....and "Separate".  However it was "Brown Town" that shocked me. I was aghast!  I looked around, wide eyed and wondering in dismay if anyone else heard what I had heard. More importantly, what was their reaction.  Nothing.  All was as 'normal' as it had been all night.  Except of course for my reaction.  

My sweet little, politically correct smiling face probably turned a bright shade of green; sick and angry green.  I still didn't say a thing. I wanted to, but I think I was too stunned.  I turned and looked at the  woman next to me whom I hadn't said much to. I just looked her in the eyes...my eyes wide and wondering, hoping for some sort of consoling eye contact of non verbal assurance... but her eyes were emotionless, maybe even wondering why my look was desperate. I couldn't read her.  I just shook my head and turned and stared at this rude, in my opinion, racist, woman, with the brown, cloud puffy hair.  I stared daggers.  I wanted to say something but didn't want to embarrass my husband, so I just stared a stare that was as thick as smoke from a burning building.  I actually wanted to say something like, "What the hell did you just say???" I almost didn't care if I embarrassed him or not. 

I whispered in a not so low voice tone to my husband, "Did you just hear what that woman said?"  He replied that he didn't think it was the way it sounded. I disagreed. How can "Brown Town" mean anything else? Bitch!

Okay, so yet again, I digress. The whole point of this story is that this is what Trump's America looks like, sounds like.  Racism without shame.  Like getting totally naked in front of everyone and telling them to F---off...they'll do it if they want to...it's their right.  But the blatant racism that Trump has encouraged is actually worse than that.  Being naked is about only you. But baring your pure, unadulterated racism is what is happening now.  

The thing that is scarier than racism gone wild is his ignorance.  His ability to get us into a major war is very real. He spoke with Taiwan; something no president has done for over 40 years, with good reason. Of course this pissed China off.  I won't even touch the fact that this selfish narcissist with serious attention deficit disorder, will totally put our national security at risk.  

People who are okay with this porn advocate say that we shouldn't let politics divide us.  I say, "why not?"  People that enabled him to be president by either voting for him or doing a write in vote have morals and a basic value system so entirely different from mine that I don't see any point to continue to associate myself with them. And these same people have a difficult time quoting his own words of being a proud pussy grabber: "grab 'em by the pussy".  

About fifteen years ago I had a dream.  A real dream.  I dreamed that I was a fly on the wall in a small apartment. There were two men in the room. An Asian looking guy and an Middle Eastern looking guy. In the middle of this small, drab apartment was a little card table with a table cloth over it that reached the floor.  Suddenly there was a knock on the door. The Asian guy sort of panicked and motioned for the other guy to quickly get under the table. As the Asian guy opened the door there were police that stormed in looking all around. They had guns in their hands and didn't look like they knew much about mercy or grace.  They looked like they were passionately doing their job. They looked all around and then left.  I woke up and the thought went across my mind, "Would you hide a Muslim the way some hid Jews?"  This was fifteen years ago. I believe it was a God thing....a God dream. This was probably a prophetic dream about Trump's America.  I now wear a safety pin on all that wear to show that I am a safe place for all that Trump will try to oppress, for all that Trump will not defend.  

I am still very upset, very sad and I grieve.  I grieve for the great America that were slowly turning into.  The white dream that we are a Christian nation is not true. I don't believe what I was once taught.  Christ did not teach what I learned in the '50's and '60's.  They were lies.  

Okay, rant done, sort of, for now.   I'll end with Dave singing what my heart feels.  I do hope you listen!

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