But it also brings up some pretty crappy thoughts. I, personally, acknowledge Christmas as a time when we remember that there was a baby born who was the savior. With the word savior comes thoughts like, 'saved from what'???. With the concept of savior comes the fact that we're living in an imperfect world; a beautiful world, but imperfect. Usually where I get into trouble is the thought that something we once had is now lost. Something went dreadfully wrong in this world as we know it, and I believe, we all as humans, genuinely know it!
"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord." He was the radical, he was the strange Jew, he was the Savior of all human kind.
Yet in my heart, knowing that I believe in his constant presence in my life, there is an ache, a dull, continuous reminder, that we still struggle, we still suffer, and we still are not that perfect being we want to be.
Animal abuse, human abuse and abusing the earth is a glaring example of the emotional and political deformities in our world. Yet Christ came to set us free. My Christian upbringing says that "we" are saved. But if we look around, on a global level, saved from what? When I made the choice to become a Christian, it was very, very straightforward as to what I, personally, was saved from; the hell of my own choices, the pain of things that had shaped my life, and the fact that my depression and life style was on a constant spiral down, down, down. And then, there he came, into my life....glorious, bright and all the other descriptions you can think of when it comes to God. JESUS! Yes, I LOVE that name.
I still have no answers on how to 'save' our beautifully flawed world, and it really does grieve me. But apparently, it's not my problem, although my awareness shares the pain. I love the way Rob Bell thinks, and I think this quote fits nicely in this part of my blog:
“Salvation is the entire universe being brought back into harmony with its maker.”
― Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith
To be able to articulate all the thoughts that go through my head would be close to heaven for me, but alas, it's not happening. I'm doing the best I can. Christmas is about Jesus' birth in my house. And Jesus' birth was bitter sweet. He came, and knew from the start, all he would have to suffer. Whether he saw the big picture from the time he was a young kid, or whether the nagging realization was a feeling that appeared slowly, he knew! His life might have been about how much he loved this life, but also his life might have been clouded with the sad reality of how hateful society can be. I think he sees that hate today, and is terribly sad. Especially around election time. The mud slinging, the disrespect, the overall negativity of it all: if God weeps, it's about that, it's about our lack of love for one another.
"Father up above, why in all this hatred do you fill me up with love?" dmb
I always told my kids that St. Nick was where the idea of Santa came from. I honestly don't think they suffered much by knowing there was no Santa. I like honesty on all levels. I told my kids that we give gifts because God gave humanity a gift; a gift of God's only son, Jesus. There is so much that was a part of Jesus' birth....The fact that Mary told Joseph she was pregnant and still was a virgin. Yeah, right. People are people, no matter where or what times you lived. Can you imagine Joseph's thoughts? I'm sure some of his friends might have labeled her a slut.
But God came though. He gave Joseph a dream. (Dreams are really God's secret language.) And seriously, I can NOT imagine what Mary was thinking and feeling about the fact that some very strange being came to her in whatever form, and said, hey, you''re going to get pregnant. It will be a boy, and he will be the savior." OMG!
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?
This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little Baby you kissed the face of God?
The blind will see.
The deaf will hear.
The dead will live again.
The lame will leap.
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb.
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
The sleeping Child you're holding is the Great, I Am.
that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?
This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little Baby you kissed the face of God?
The blind will see.
The deaf will hear.
The dead will live again.
The lame will leap.
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb.
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
The sleeping Child you're holding is the Great, I Am.
I always wanted a son, and 32 years and some months ago, I had one. He is my heart. To think of any harm whatsoever coming to him, would kill me, literally, I don't know if I could live if either of my children were harmed in any way. And yet, Mary had to go through that. I wonder what happened to her later, after Jesus died.
There is so much about Jesus life and death that amazes me. It has caused me to know in my heart that HE is the man, he is the one, he is my love.
I have a little idea why I think about all of my loved ones who have gone to the "other side' around Christmas. It's been like this for a while now. At Christmas I think of dead people. I feel them sometimes when I let myself. And I feel their love. This has compelled an even deeper faith in Jesus because hey, if my dead relatives and loved ones can see me, how much more is that true for Jesus.
Ahhhh, and yet again, I am rambling. To put feelings and thoughts into some art form is, in my opinion, prodigious. My attempt to express my feelings, at this time of year, is not an easy task.
I am grateful!! I am grateful that Jesus was born, and lived and died and came back from the grave to prove there's something beyond. I'm soooo grateful that 2013 has been very good to my family. I am grateful for ever so much!
With that, I hope you all have wonderful Christmas and I hope that 2014 will be as good to you as 2013 was to me. Let's raise a glass of red to that. If you're reading I'm sending a huge amount of love to you. I hope you feel it.
