I think of loved ones whom I have loved and are now gone. Gone from my life or gone in general. I miss them. I miss the people who were ruthlessly murdered in Paris, in San Bernadino at a holiday party no less.
It's difficult not to be overwhelmed with hopelessness. Then there are those who are religious... they area a part of my religion, and they blame it all on our president. It makes me so angry and yet my anger is not justified. I hear this still small voice saying "love them, forgive them, pray for them."
"Peace on earth, good will to men." What happened? As I sit here with my sweet granddog I see she is just exhausted. She is away from her routine. Dogs are creatures of habit, just like us. She adores my son and every time he goes away she frets. Her pretty little eyes don't sparkle as much and she is constantly waiting for his return. She is so exhausted and as I stroke her sweet little nose and as I very, very quietly assure her she's okay, her heavy eyes slowly yield to my voice, to my soft strokes. She is at peace. Her eyes close and she is snoring. She's so sweet and so special to me. She's probably one of the most sensitive dogs I have ever met.
I think we're like that to God. God knows that beneath our big boy and girl panties we're scared shitless at the world, at all that is going on. We grieve for the losses; we try to not think about it, but it continues to haunt us by reoccurring events.
We're in the season of advent, of waiting. Waiting for the promise of peace on earth goodwill to men. Waiting for the light that shines in the darkness.Some of my more religious friends will say that light came with the birth of Christ. And yes, I sort of agree, but it sure the hell seems dark to me right now. Lives have been senselessly blown away. I can't fathom how their families feel. I don't even want to know. But what I am looking for is the end of the story. The end of the story when the light comes and never, ever goes away. I'm hoping it's not too far off.
