I've been married forty years. When we were first married I remember my husband saying something to the effect that if I ever "went back to work" (Really? As if raising a child and managing a household wasn't work.)he would do his share to help out. Trouble is, that his "share" was never defined. But my share was already defined, without words, by our society. As I understood it, my "job" was to make sure the house was clean and organized, the children were well fed, as well as the husband, and the bills were paid.
I'm an empty nester now so in my world, I feel the pressure is off. However, I"m really hoping the world has changed....but I don't think it's changed much. My daughter who is a full time teacher, trying to change the world, one child at a time, and also a full time mother of three, has had a mini crisis. Not a biggie, but it's the little foxes that will spoil the whole vine. A thought crossed my mind today, "Go do surprise cleaning and laundry for your daughter." What a thought! And seriously, I really like to clean. Today I wanted to concentrate on laundry as well. I wanted her to come home and see that she has nothing to do this weekend other than attend her sons sports events. So I worked my ass off cleaning and doing laundry and loving every minute of it.
But the idea remains....why aren't men more involved? Don't they mind living in disorganization and filth? They don't mind their urine on the rim of the toilet? Or has it been taken care of for them for so many centuries that they just don't get it? Is it still a mans world? I remember as a young bride reading books on how to make your husband happy. One of the ideas was to wrap yourself in plastic, totally naked, other than the plastic wrap, and greet him at the door. I think the name of the book was, "Fascinating Womanhood". Really???
Okay, well, it's a Saturday night and the cool desert air is refreshing. I'm alone other than my faithful dogs. It's been a great day. I loved seeing my daugher's expression when she realized there wasn't much to do at home for her this weekend. Apparently my love language is acts of service. I love giving, and it satisfies me every time to see the joy in my kids face when I help them out.
But back to the point. It can't be a man's world. We will fail if it is. So men, if you haven't already, do your fair share and make it work.
Friday, March 31, 2017
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
That's Amore
ro·mance
rōˈmans,ˈrōˌmans/
noun
- 1.a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.
Ah romance. the joy of it...the aliveness of it...the fleeting glory of it.
Why does it always seem to be for the young? It's an odd thing it is. I was captured and frozen in the idea of romance at a young age; eighteen to be exact. Fortunately I was able to find my way out of the dream in my late forties. But it was too late.
I'm still fascinated, and sometimes love songs, sad love songs especially, make me come alive.
There is something about feeling attractive and lovable again. I've been married for forty years, but I must say that when an attractive man takes a second look and smiles, I walk away feeling young again, like I'm sixteen again. "I've still got it!" is what I think. As egotistical and vain as it is, it's the truth.
Ahhh romance. It's confusing, sentimental and emotional, but I love it. Not just romance with the opposite sex, but romance with life. Romance with the ups and downs, the drama and the quiet times; that's what causes me to feel this mystery that is associated with love. And indeed, it is a mystery that I can't put into words.
But by far, the most intense example of romance is between two humans who have an emotional, psychological, and sexual bond with each other. Sometimes, when we have been married for years we forget that romance is still alive and well. Unfortunately, it seems the only time we remember is when we have lost our love. I wish it were different.
Please, if you have read this far, watch the video.If you've seen it before, again, please, watch it again. And here's to the romance of your life. Long live love!
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