Why is it that life can throw some hard punches when you least expect it? I mean, it usually is when you least expect it right?
Without getting into the specifics, I'll just write. It's not a punch to me, it's to someone I care about deeply. The thing that makes it more difficult than if it had been me is that I have absolutely no control over this whole damn thing. I can't fix it.
But I sit here and think melancholy thoughts about life and how fast it goes by. My granddaughter is going away to college, and a new granddaughter will enter this world in July. A baby is born, and someone on the same day dies...I mean that's life, right?
Life and death. We'd like some miracle to keep untimely losses from happening, but it doesn't happen, the miracle just doesn't happen. Meanwhile someone is praising God for their miracle and someone else is devastated because what they knocked themselves out praying for, didn't happen. What's with that? Some will say God is sovereign, but I don't buy that. That makes no sense if God is supposed to be a loving god.
I have been deconstructing some very bad doctrine I've had most of my life. But, I've been in the deconstructing mode of my faith for about twenty years now. Maybe it's time to reconstruct. Right after my dad died, I woke up one night to his voice. I heard his voice with my ears. It was actually, little creepy. Right after I woke up a sort of banner went across my mind, "Don't give up your faith, you're on the right track."
Funny, I thought I had spiritually arrived. Since that night the questions haven't ceased. My theory is, if God is so powerful and loving, then God can handle my questions.
I had a dream last night that I was travelling and lost my plane ticket. That's something to ponder, don't you think?
Okay, so that's it for now. At least I wrote this much. 2020 has been one hell of a year. I wonder what 2021 is going to bring.
"Celebrate we will, cause life is short but sweet for certain.
We climb on two by two
to make sure these days continue." dmb
