Venting and Grieving

Venting here...forgive me if I don't edit for type-o's.  I'm sick of conservative people who say they are Christians and favor letting anyone and their wacko friends have guns.  I'm sick of the "club" and their judgmental attitudes.  Am I angry? You're damn right I am.  One of my friend's husbands who is a "missionary" to Mexico asked me if I was 'drunk' when I made a statement he didn't agree with. OMG....How arrogant is that? How arrogant is he??  Okay, deep breath here. The only reason I bring that up is to show that some have their 'doctrine' set in their minds and won't think of anything that would differ from their opinion.  It would mess with their 'spiritual security'.  Unfortunately, their 'doctrine' is also very political.

In light of the Charleston church murders so much comes out. Actually all sorts of things come out when you even bring up the fact that we need more stringent gun laws. These are people who believe in Jesus, in his teachings.  Maybe they conveniently leave out what Jesus said about the peacemakers: Blessed are the peacemakers...etc. etc. etc.  No these are paranoid, negative people in their 60's who think they are "on board with God's moves" .  If God is hateful and paranoid and anti gay, pro guns, blah, blah blah, I'm not sure we're talking about the same God that I saw all those years ago when I gave my life to Christ.

There is a club, and if you're not in that club you are "back slidden".  Oh yes, I remember that term. It was for all the faithful who fell away from the club or who dared question anything about the club.  Sort of cultish right?  Yep!   And now, instead of it being a spiritual good news club, it's gone terrible y partisan, political.

I have 'chatted' with so called friends on facebook about this atrocity.  And of course when I mention gun control they cling to their paranoid little beliefs that the right wing has thrown at them and say the only answer is for "mens hearts to change".  Yeah, well, that hasn't happened.  So, I'm going to end this rant on a Friday night with John Stewart.  He is a genius and amazing at how he captures the feelings of so many.

Summer Awareness

It's summer time.  I'll be off work soon for at least four weeks, how great is that?  Last summer I began a project that kept me busy for weeks.  It was something I love to do and something that kept my attention for weeks.  This summer I don't have that going on. I thought about projects and seriously considered re tiling a couple of bathrooms in the house.  I don't know if it's my age or the level of my skill, but it certainly didn't interest me. Needless to say, I gave up that idea.  Here it is June 12th, the middle of the month and nothing.  I've been feeling more philosophical lately. I'm not sure why that's happening either.  Maybe because I'm cutting back on my antidepressants, or my age, or maybe it's just because!



One thing that has followed me for at least ten years now is the idea of being truly alive.  "The Glory of God is man fully alive."  St. Irenaeus.  One of Merriam Webster Dictionary definition's of alive is :  marked by alertness, energy, or briskness.  So the word alertness stuck with me.  Yep, I have to define that too: and one of the definitions I liked about that word was, "able to think clearly."  


For years I have lauded the idea of being present in the moment.  After much counselling concerning what seemed to be an addiction (if not addiction, a strong attraction to ) drama, I was made aware of the fact that life can be full of awe without drama and excitement (thanks to my wonderful counselor whom I miss terribly.).   I said all that to say this:  I had to walk to the mail box and look for my new summer read.  I decided to take Lexy, my sixteen year old American Eskimo who can barely walk.  Needless to say, I had to walk a very slow pace.  As I traveled the short distance around the corner, I noticed the air, the sky, the sun going down and the way the concrete and asphalt felt on me bare feet.  I have to say that at that moment in time I felt very aware of pretty much everything, and it was all good, very good!  I felt very grateful to be alive, at that moment, at that place, in this city, surrounded by beautiful mountains. I felt very grateful to be able to feel the heat along with a slight breeze. I was grateful that my very old little friend was still able to walk, maybe hobble is a better word, along side me.  








LIfe is interesting isn't it?  It's what we make it. It's how we perceive it, how we look at it.  We all really do sometimes seem like people that are a part of this amazing novel, or play or movie.  But right now, being alive to me is being able to feel all the beautiful feelings of summer in this city in the desert.