Everything Is Amazing and Nobody Is Happy (Louis CK)

Okay so I stole my title line from good ole' Louis CK...(love him).  But if you watch his comedy routine on that, it's true.  We live in an age where we have everything we need at our finger tips.  There's so much we have available to make our lives much easier than ever before.  But God help us when they don't work.  And God help us even more when a lot of them don't work at the same time.

Take me for instance.  I refuse to buy a car I can't pay cash for. And I refuse to buy a mode of transportation that will empty my savings or checking or both.  So I did my research, Kelly Blue Book, the whole nine yards. I found a one owner from a great family who just wanted something brand new.  I love Acuras and of course this was an Acura.  It is, mind you, fourteen years old. But hey, it's a one owner with less than a hundred thousand miles.  Right? And Lord, the sound system....OMG...it's a Bose.  When I popped in my DMB cd... well hey, I could have died and gone to heaven.   I could hear every instrument as clearly as if the whole band was in my living room playing just for me.  

The drive my new old car gives me is smooth, fast and noiseless.  I was happy and knew that this would be a great ride for at least one hundred thousand more miles.  But a few days ago it just didn't want to start. It sort of coughed, spit and labored until it finally fired up. However, not long later, it just didn't turn over at all.  Now it's in the shop. Yep, haven't even had it a month.  

Good thing is, we have an extra car for times like these; maybe not the prettiest one on the road, but it's there. My husband had driven it a while ago and used it to take the dogs to dog park.  Needless to say it was filthy, really filthy.   A trip to the car wash was on the agenda for today. I cleaned that thing inside and out without missing an inch.    After thoroughly vacuuming it I got in, put in the key and nothing.....NOTHING!! AND I forgot my cell phone.  To make a long story short, I was finally able to get a hold of my husband and he came and gave me a jump start. 

The list goes on about how all these great luxuries of technology and machinery have one by one decided to call it a day;  as if telling me, "Sorry, we're tired and want a rest. We all decided to gang up on you, put our nose in the air and laugh as we quit."  


This whole saga makes me think of a comedy routine Louis CK did. Watch and enjoy:

Numbing and Writers Block

I don't know why I have' writers block. I can't feel much of anything anymore.  I'm thinking this may not be good.  You know the scripture..."I would rather have you too hot or too cold but never luke warm.".....or something like that.  I've been feeling luke warm lately  Numb....Actually I can't say that I'm totally innocent of not knowing why...I have a pretty good idea .



 We're taught to suppress our feelings and I think now I've become a master. The only trouble is, I know that if feelings are pushed down, way down into the bowl of denial, they eventually pop out.  But even then, something tells me they may not. Something tells me that I can be numb and here's how.   There's a thin line between letting things go and pushing them down.  I think I know the difference.  I'm pushing some stuff down and it's not good. I know me, it will roar it's ugly face at me eventually. Or not!



It's been a pretty good Saturday.  I don't like having a lot going on. I think it's because my time belongs to someone else most days.  The weekends are mine and I like to own my time, be free and not have responsibilities.  So today I've puttered around the house doing the things that need to be done.  I love these types of days.  And then, at the end of the day, I sit back, relax, and enjoy the fruits of my labor.  Only thing is, I enjoy writing...but when I want to put fingers to the keyboard lately, nothing comes.  Or if it does it's only a few words that are forced and I abandon the whole thing right away.





On a very, very honest note, I've become a master at numbing the things that bring me pain...which are a lot of things.  And those things are, if felt, the things that people relate to...the things that can be artistically expressed in words.  Seriously, the line in Annie Hall where Alvy Singer says, ": I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening."  So that's how I feel. If I see a dog that has been abused, a cat that is starving, a kid whose parents are so selfish and screwed up that their own child takes on the problems, then like Alvy Singer, It puts a crimp in my evening...but it's also more personal.  If someone has hurt me, sometimes I can totally let it go...Other times I can't..and there you have it.  that's when the numbing starts.





I've been through enough counselling and have so many tools to help myself. And God knows I use them.  But now, at this moment...I haven't written for what seems like a lifetime.  I have to write now, even if it's about not writing. Now, as Linda Ellerby would say..and so it goes.  Good night and raise a glass to numbing.  xoxoo