Tuesday Afternoon On A Saturday Afternoon (thoughts on happiness)

It's a great Saturday afternoon; extremely hot, but I've been inside, puttering, rearranging my living room, listening to a great Pandora station (thanks to my son)..... and I have been  pondering happiness.  Good music does that to me.  It evokes emotions that, for no seemingly good reason, surface and cause me to think thoughts deeper than what goes well on the wall by the stairway. 




It's usually insturmentals that do it; that bring about these feelings that are as vivid as photographs from the past. Anyway, because music, especially insturmentals, are a bit abstract, my thoughts are slower to arrive at the brink of my consciousness than the deep, gut emotions of desire, longing and a familiar nostalgic ache.



This music takes away the restlness that so often becomes my roommate.  I've been thinking lately about happiness, and what makes me happy.  Even the word happiness causes me to wonder.





How long has it been since I've just sat down and let happiness just "sit softly on my shoulder"?  Hmmmmmm....maybe the dictionary would be a better place to find out what that word means?

Here is the web dictionary definiton: " state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy."




It's all still very fuzzy and unsure to me, although I consider myself to be happy, fortunate and full.  What more could I ask for?  Nothing really, but I do, we all do.  We always ask, or desire for more.  I have a theory on that too, it's because, as CS Lewis put it, "we know we were made for better than this."





 It's sort of a home-sickness.  It's as if we once were complete, as if we were once perfectly and beautifully satisfied, or more, with all things at all times and then wham....you're on a journey out of your mother's belly into this unnatural light that you had no desire to be a part of, because you were so, well, so happy before. 



Have you ever had a dream where you were flying?  I have and it's glorious.  It's pure, unadulterated happiness.  In my dream I was in the middle of a crowd of people, and I gave this little twirl and up, up and away I went.  Flying.

The feeling was magnificent. Words really can't describe what I felt, and still feel at times, in that dream.  Maybe, just maybe we did fly once.  Where does this memory come from?  There is a desire in all of us to go back to Eden.  Maybe we were there once, maybe it's all about connection.  And for sure it's about the knowledge of good and evil.   The end of innocence.  Deep in our souls, our spirits we know we were made for better than this. 

Until then, I'll keep rearranging the living room, listening to music and doing what I do. 

I hope your Saturday is full of music.  Take care.


(Tuesday Afternoon lyrics, by the Moody Blues)

Tuesday afternoon,
I'm just beginning to see, now I'm on my way
It doesn't matter to me, chasing the clouds away.

Something, calls to me,
The trees are drawing me near, I've got to find out why?
Those gentle voices I hear, explain it all with a sigh.

I'm looking at myself reflections of my mind,
It's just the kind of day to leave myself behind.
So gently swaying through the fairyland of love.
If you'll just come with me you'll see the beauty of..........