At first I thought perhaps I have had one too many alcoholic beverages, (gasp, gasp!!!) so I just laid off the tart, happy drinks altogether and found that wasn't the reason I have been so lethargic. Then, deep in the crowded room of my mind, I thought that maybe I should just go to bed early and sleep; sleep long and hard, sleep in such a way that I dream and totally remember my dreams. And that I did!
After a rather dismal, yet sunny and hellishly hot day, I drug my pitiful self up to my room with a view, and laid down in my comfy bed with all four dogs lovingly by my side, and wham!!! I was out like a light. That was at 8:30. I slept almost twelve, blissful, dream filled hours and then, of course, woke up.
I have mentioned this in earlier blogs; I believe that the dead can talk.
Sometimes, more often than nought, I wake up at around 3:30 and feel as if I'm not alone. A lot of times I think of my mother, my father, or a friend that I have lost in this waking life is right there with me.
Sometimes I get a little creeped out...not a lot, but a little, and I just keep my eyes closed. But indeed, I feel someone is there, honestly, loving me. Last night I felt another friend. A friend I have had probably all of my life, but hadn't been awar eof until 1972, when I decided to give him my time, my thoughts, my heart, my life. Because I went to sleep so early, I woke around 12:30 a.m. That's when I thought of him. I just said his name in my head over and over.
Not for any particular reason either...I just haven't done that in a long time and I sort of missed being aware of his presence with me. "Jesus, you there? I miss you. I want to sort of feel you now if that's okay ." And, but of course, he came through. That gentle, but profound feeling of "a dead person" in the room with me.
Now usually I feel there are "people" or "souls" with me at this bewitching hour when I wake and Phil is asleep on the couch, and I'm alone.
Same thing happened last night. I felt Jesus, a dead person, if you will. But there was something really different about feeling him with me rather than my father, my mother, my teenage boyfriend who left far too early in my opinion. It was a cleaner feeling...(that's the word that mainly comes to mind..."cleaner") and lighter feeling.
You know, when Jesus said I am the light, sometimes I think he meant it in another way rather than all shiney and bright and blinding. I think he meant it in a happy way, a fresh way, a weight way....Like a baloon, or like flying.
If that makes any sort of sense. It sure does to me; especially when I felt him in my room last night.
The very cool thing is that when I finally woke up today, I felt lighter. I felt lighter than I have felt in weeks. Some skeptics would say, "yeah, because you slept so long and so well." And of course I would agree with them. But I'm taking it a step further. When I woke, the heaviness from the last few days was there a bit....I remembered it....but something very transforming happened. I had this thought in my head, like a voice that said in so many words, " It's a new day, a fresh day and I'm here with you. Always have been, I'll never leave you, and I love you forever! So be happy, be light and enjoy the day." How' bout that???? Pretty cool right? I think so.
Happy Monday all....love to you!
Oh happy day
when Jesus washed
when he washed
all my sins away!!!
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