Forty- three years ago today I was in Birmingham, England getting ready to change my life forever. I was a naive little American girl who traveled over the ocean alone to marry the man who sparked my life. Getting ready to walk down the isle with a man I had only really known about 6 months. But I was absolutely, totally, undeniably smitten with this wild looking Brit. He had long, crazy hair, a tight, navy blue sweater, bell bottoms and leather clogs when we first met in Israel. And the the most beautiful green eyes. Always the rebel, but always a true gentleman. I was enamored!
But that was a long time ago. We both have evolved and changed, grown out of necessity and yet our core values, our core foundation of love is still alive and strong. We grew up together, we've been together longer than we were ever apart. He is a part of my being. In one of my most favorite movies, "Eternal Sunshine Of the Spotless Mind", a couple try to literally erase each other from their minds; erase all the memories of each other. If I were to do that with my husband, there would be nothing left ; I would erase most of my life. In the end the movie shows you can erase someone from your mind, but not your heart. Phil will be on my heart forever!
To write a tribute to the man I've grown up with; spent most of my life with is difficult. I'm not sure where or how to begin, but I certainly want to try. Phil, my husband of forty-three years, has been such a huge influence on how I see life. His sense of justice for the underdog is admirable and righteous. He helps me, and others, to see the big picture of our world, our politics, our environment. I was a girl from a small Midwestern city when we met I had no real interest in anything around me other than what was happening in my own little corner. He caused me to see how we as humans are care takers of our beautiful, magnificent earth and what we do or don't do will affect how generations to come will live.
If someone tells me that they have been together and all has been delightful, peaceful, no contention, I probably won't believe them. Marriage is difficult and people change. Phil and I have been through many ups and downs, years of memories and a lot of adjusting. I believe God has used my marriage to heal childhood wounds, teach me unconditional love and cause me to grow spiritually in ways I never imagined. Although marriage is about growing together, marriage has taught me independence and reliance on my own happiness. To depend on another human for your happiness will always lead to disappointment and shattered expectations. My relationship with Phil has taught me to be happy in my own right and bring that to our marriage table.
Phil, I love you and am glad we are together to see our children's children grow. I am happy to have someone to come home to when I'm gone. I'm happy that I know you'll come through the door and we'll spend our evenings together..... our weekends together, our lives together. We're two very passionate, opinionated people who against all odds, are still together, living peacefully and lovingly together. Here's to us babe, let's celebrate, for life is short but sweet for certain!!!!
"You were born together, and together you
shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white
wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the
silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance
between you."
kahil gibran on marriage
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