Sitting alone in my wonderful home I can't help but write today. It's been a long time.
So, the pandemic, Christmas time and yep, getting older. People in my immediate family have tested positive for covid, but they're getting through okay. My daughter is pretty achy. She is an animal about working out; very fit, very healthy, and yet she has it worse than the others. Weird thing is that her whole family, other than her daughter, tested positive. Just a weird time, a crazy time.
Usually at this time of year we get together with friends and people we haven't seen in a while. I miss the parties. Although I'm very grateful for a beautiful home to isolate in, I'm still sad. The realization that I'm not getting any younger is also weighing on me. I see every season, every day, every minute as time I need to cherish. I don't want to waste a minute because I know I won't see that minute again! Ever!
One of the things I'm so very grateful for is that we now have the fascist idiot out of office soon. I have tried not to give Agent Orange any more of my energy, but he really is trying to do as much damage as possible before he leaves. The worst part about these last four years is that it has separated me from the ones I love. It's me, not them. I just can't go along with their mindset which is actually a huge part of who they are. Don't get me wrong, I still love them but it would be like me proclaiming to be a satanist and them not trying to at least, convert me, let alone not having anything to do with me. C'est la vie!
Always at this time of year my mind goes to people who are gone, people I've loved so very much. When I was young Christmas wasn't nostalgic, it was exciting and joyous, not that it's NOT joyous now but there was no looking back, only forward. New beginnings. Anyway this morning sitting up in bed drinking coffee and looking at the beautiful view, I saw two dogs that looked like my beloved Lexy. Not two together, but one at one time, one a little while later. My thought when I saw the first one was of course it made me think of her and walking with her on that hill Then, a few minutes later, someone else came along with another dog looking like Lexy. It spurred me to wonder if it wasn't just a coincidence. It made me feel her presence. There's a feeling deep inside of me, maybe caused by a feeling outside of me, that I get. Words are limited to convey what it actually feels like. It's very 'other worldly'. I still feel it!
Listening to Christmas music, the sun shining, the Christmas decor glistening, the dogs lying around me, it's good to be alive. My grand daughter is coming over soon to stay in our casita while she is isolating. I'm glad I can provide a place to stay where she doesn't have to wear a mask all day.
I hope you all have a beautiful holiday, a healthy holiday, a holiday where you appreciate the gifts in life you normally take for granted. And hey, let's do a big toast to 2021 and hope, pray, it isn't like 2020.
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