Honestly, I think marriage is the most difficult thing ever, more difficult than raising kids. It's difficult if you just don't want to settle for something bland and lacking in communication. It takes a lot of work, a lot of honesty and a lot of admitting that you have specific desires.
Oh, our marriage has been anything but bland. For way too long we had a considerable amount of drama. After struggling and a lot of soul searching, I gave up on the drama about four years ago. In spite of saying marriage is difficult, I wouldn't want to grow old alone and this husband of mine seems to be a great match for me. We almost didn't make it a few years ago. We separated for three months.
They were the lonliest, most intense three months in my life.
Fortunately, as you know, we got back together and here we are.
There's a whole lot of history in thrity six years. History that can't be replaced with new relationships that don't have time to make memories. My husband and I sort of grew up together really.
No, he's not the same man I married all those years ago, and of course I'm not the same woman. Though I can hardly say we were old enough to be called a man and a woman. He was twenty two, and I was twenty four. Puppies really. People change with time and experiences. It's just that simple. Maybe our core stays the same, but we change in so many ways.
I'm probably happier than I've ever been because I have accepted him just as he is, not wanting to change him, respecting his views that are different than mine.
(Although he must know that I'm usually always right!) We are living together without much drama these days, the quiet is peaceful, the conversations interesting, and the silence in between is now comfortable.
Tomorrow I'll have some red to celebrate. Happy anniversary Phil! Here's to many more.
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