Calories, Beauty, Age and Reaching Goals

So, I titled this blog before I even began writing. I guess it's for a sort of reference to keep me on track so I won't ramble. Let's see, I'll start with calories.


REALLLYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

Okay, below is a more realistic definition:





I log all that I eat, at least when I'm totally honest, which is maybe 75% of the time.



 In order for me to reach my goal of a 20 pound weight loss by September I am supposed to keep my calorie count under 1260.


I joined a gym/nutritional center and am paying, actually quite a bit, each month.  I've commited to one year.  It's a great deal because when I go there to work out, it's basically small group sessions with an amazing trainer who tells you exactly what to do and pushes you to your limit.  In other words, it's not easy but it's well worth every penny.  If I were to just sign up for small group sessions at any other place, it would be far more expensive.


Today, however, I'm wishing that God would give me one day, just one little day each week, (heck, I'd settle for one day a month) where I could eat whatever and how much I wanted and it would not count....Zero calories! Heaven! (Said in a high pitched, slightly whispered voice tone.)





 I know, right???

Obviously, that is NOT what will happen, ever, not in this life anyway.  So, in the meantime, yep, I'm logging and counting and figuring out strategies to enjoy my lust for eating in more moderate ways. 



So far, so good, yet for me,  it's portion control.  And that is something I"m working on.  Interestingly enough, when I'm upset about something, really upset, I can't eat.  Where some people just sit and drown their sorrows in oreo cookies and milk, I get sick to my stomach. 


Okay, so moving on to the beauty aspect of this blog.  I have always loved beauty.  From as early as I can remember beauty has been something that has motivated me to act.  I'm not just talking superficial, although that has a huge part in what I enjoy, I'm talking inside and out. 


Beauty comes not from counting calories or being the most seemingly perfect weight.  I believe it comes from your soul, your spirit.  I believe it comes from a sense of confidence.






I believe it comes from love of self that oozes out to and refelects upon others.




I believe true beauty comes from being positively in love with love, in all forms and perceptions.





Beauty comes from a passion for all things good, all things lovely.

Now, looking at my title I see age is the next topic I've listed.  Hmmm...You know, time waits for no one, but reaching my goal is important.  I'm hoping I can keep it as important as I think it is.  After turning 60, I see my goals, my self, my life, differently than I did when......well.....than when I wasn't 60. 








It seems that competing and trying to be someone I'm not just quit at my last birthday.  It's sort of nice, but accepting that I'm not in a self inflicted race to compete with people half my age anymore is a type of letting go.  It is letting go  of a large amount of drama in my life.  It is accepting me and guess what? actually liking me.  I like who I am more now more than I ever have.  I like my body, I like my face, I like my hair and I like how I think.  Quite the accomplishment for this little perfectionist.


I realize that I want to stay healthy.  I realize that health is beautiful and I realize that I will never have all the lusts that I would like to have.  Whether it be food, drink, material goods, admiration, or knowledge. A wise man named Solomon told me that years ago through a book he wrote that is in the Christian and Jewish bible. Why I didn't actually take it to heart then, I have no idea.  I take that back, yes, I have an idea, I was too young to get it.  I was too young and hadn't tried as long then.  Now I get it.



I still have my goal of being a size 2 again.  Okay, scratch that, maybe a 4.  BUT, if I stay a 6, I'm happy as a lark.  I still use Crest White Strips and I have a blissful relationship with Botox.  Going to the gym and working out is something that will never be an option for me to just quit doing, not if I want to stay healthy and strong.



So, I am at peace most of the time and I can look in the mirror and think, "wow, she looks great for her age." 

There ya have it...my ramblings.   Have a beautiful day inside and out.