Venting and Wondering Why

I don't get it.  I don't understand why someone would plan such a bloody, useless masacre.  He wasn't making a statement, he didn't have a traumatic childhood, he wasn't bullied, wasn't rejected.  So why!!! 

Below is a picture of Veronica, the youngest victim killed.


My husband brought up what  a lot of people ask during tragedies such as this; Why would a loving God "allow" such a thing?  My question isn't that. My question is why did he do it?  There is nothing that would help me understand it, not even if he was horribly broken by some tragedy himself...but still, I don't get it.  It's not God's fault we do what we do.  It just seems we want to find blame.  Maybe if we could blame someone we could channel our pain into anger and channel our anger into whoever or whatever we blame. 


Me?  I must admit my heart is almost filled with hate towards this guy.  I want to see him die a painful death.  I hope there is a hell especially for him.  I hope God gives him back a childlike heart and then constantly plays this horrific scene, along with all the pain he caused others, over and over to him for eternity.  And even that doesn't seem hard enough.





 I will admit though, I feel for his family, his mother, his father.  What he did to the victims, he did to his own family.


I am hoping that in the chaos of the moment that the vicitims who died didn't go through a lot of pain.  I hope it was quick.



 In any case, just like most of humanity, I'm so sad over this and realize words are just too cheap right now.