My friend from childhood and I got an apartment together, smoked a lot of grass and decided to travel. But before we actually had plans, a girl named Donna moved in with us. She had two little sons who were temporarily staying with their grandma, so Donna decided to do the trip with us. Back then it was totally different...it was a lot safer, so we decided to hitch hike to Texas from Illinois and then meet a friend and he would drive us the rest of the way to the dreamland of the 1970's...L.A.
That's how I met Donna and that's how we became relatively close. I wound up hating Cali and I got a ride back to Illinois. I was a mess and fortunately there was the "Jesus Movement" going on. I decided to give my life to Christ. Donna and Carol returned some time later and thought I was silly for being a Jesus freak. However, not too long after that, they both gave themselves over to Christ. It stuck, but there was a lot of crap that stuck too.
I became pretty self righteous and judgmental (It all came back to me years and years later.) and said a lot of things I shouldn't have and as a result, hurt some people; probably a lot of people. Donna was one of them and I pretty much alienated her.
If I were to blame anyone or anything other than myself it would be the things we were taught, or that were given to us as an example at church. We were taught to judge, and as a result, we, as a community, judged things we had no right to judge.
We were young and stupid. But, I won't blame it on that. I'll dismiss it as being young, stupid and doing the best we could do back in those days.
Fortunately, I was able to reconnect with Donna a few months ago on facebook. She was very forgiving and life went on with happy little comments. Last Thursday she fell down her basement steps, and died early this morning. It sort of caught me off guard, this sadness that I felt. Actually more than sadness. I hadn't seen her for years, but my heart ached. I think that when we share a part of our lives with someone else, a little bit of our soul, or their soul, connects to something deep inside of us.
At this point I wish that could write some eloquent words about our times together, how wonderful she was. Yes, she was beautiful, yes, she was kind, and yes, she loved well. I know this because of what her daughter had said about her. However, I cannot say too much, for time and other things separated us. Still, I'm sad today and had to write.
So, Donna , here's to you. I hope you are free and happy. I hope you give your family little signs of your newly found peace. I'm sorry we disconnected. But I have learned, through your death, that life is so very fragile. I always knew it, but this is proof. Rest in peace.
In loving memory of Donna.
“Slowly, quietly, like snow-flakes—like the small flakes that come when it is going to snow all night
—little flakes of me, my impressions, my selections, are settling down on the image of her. The real shape wil be quite hidden in the end.”
― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed
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