A God Moment---Why I'm Alive

What I wanted was to get off a little bit early, or even on time.  I haven't ever worked late at this job so the thought didn't occur to me that I would not get home "on time"  until one of my student's mother didn't show  to pick him up.


Let me fill you in on this student:  First of all, I was working at a site that wasn't even mine. I was just filling in.  So I've only been with this student maybe three days at the most. He is very, very guarded, and very, very quiet.



The wall he has put around himself is almost physically tangible.  Mostly he always has head phones on and when I call his name it usually takes about three times for him to actually hear me.  \



He sags, he constantly watches and listens to videos about right wing conspiracy theories, and  his interactions with his own mother are not the most affectionate I've seen.  She usually just rolls her eyes. It's almost as if he wants to sabotage anything and everything that might be good in his life.  His education right now is the last chance option. By the way, I love this kind of student. Give me the most challenging and I'm happy. Did I mention that he sags?




 That is probably the most annoying thing to me as far as physical appearance and style.  UG!  I do not want to see cracks or underwear...Please spare me that. When I told him to pull up his pants, he acted offended.  When I asked if he knew where sagging originated, he said he knew...He said "rape in jail".  I tried to correct him and tell him it was because they take belts in jail.  He corrected me and told me he knew better because his father was in prison and told him the truth about sagging.



In any case, sagging in itself is a statement that needs to be heard if one wants to help the world be a better place.

So, here I am, looking forward to my 5:15 kick ass gym class that helps me stay in shape just to do my job here in life, and slowly I realize it just might not happen tonight.
 


 I take it in stride, however,  I pay a lot of money, and these workouts are  very effective, and well...I love going. This student's mother is usually at the site to pick him up by 2.  Today, at  3:30 I knew something was up. So did he.  I also knew he hadn't had lunch, that's why I suggested that he take a couple of dollars (of mine) and go to the vending machine.  He looked sort of surprised that I offered, but declined graciously.  My student  tried calling mom again and again,  there was no answer.  Finally at a little after 4, (The site is supposed to be closed at 4.) we called his father, the emergency number in his file. That was a little better, yet by now I knew I would be there long after my work out class was to start.

At a little after 5 we got a call that he would have a ride soon and we were to wait outside.  We had to leave our roomanyway as there were others who needed it at that time.  I walked out to the front of the building with him to wait for his ride. With much apprehension I decided to try again to pursue a conversation, even though I knew it would  take a concentrated effort on my part.





 Making a very long story short, we got to the dirt right away.





You know; how crappy the world is, it's getting worse,   there is a lot of evil out there, and we need to be prepared for the worst.  No, this wasn't from me, it was from this young student who shouldn't be worried about things of this proportion.


I looked at his young face and saw such bitterness and worry. His facade of skepticism was strong and had helped build his powerful wall of isolation.  He didn't really like music, he didn't really have a hobby except for reading, and he likes Jesse Ventura and conspiracy theories.




Yeah, great thing for a kid to spend time with. I told him yesterday when I saw him looking at conspiracy theories online that he needs to take it with a grain of salt and not be brainwashed.  He is a believer and doesn't doubt. He doesn't doubt the negative.


Okay, I need to cut this short, but what happened as we were waiting outside the building was a God moment in my life.


  I encouraged him to move towards love.




 I encouraged him by telling him that it's easy to be negative, but only the strong and courageous believe the best about people.


I encouraged him by telling him faith gives hope.



I encouraged him by telling him why I admire and have researched Jesus.  I encouraged him by telling him Jesus believed the best about all people even though they tortured him and killed him.




 I encouraged him by telling him how sensitive and intelligent he is and yet I see bitterness.





 When I told him that he seemed bitter, he looked at me almost with gratefulness that I had his number.


 He admitted he was bitter. We continued to talk and I continued to encourage him to stay open to love and yes, pain.  I told him I was an "old" lady and have been through hell, but have come out on the side of love.   And that its' worth the pain.


He looked me in the eyes more than a few times.  Something he doesn't do to me or others.  When his ride showed up HE came to ME and hugged me.




 I don't have words to tell you what that meant to me.  I don't have words to tell you what HE did for ME. He reminded me that I have purpose.



All the way home I felt high.



 I felt high with love and life and purpose.  I know that conversation will be remembered. I know that he will remember.  And just as we talked about the power of choice, it's up to him to move towards love, and possible be disappointed, but in the long run, know that it's worth it. Most of the way home I prayed for his sweet heart.

Passion for What????

"Jesus showed us a new. A Way that compels followers to love our enemies so extravagantly that the watching world rises to our defense, or walks away compelled to investigate further. A Way that sheds light on conversions through follower’s unwillingness to fight fire with fire. A Way that shows the world what it truly means to be human. This is the Way of Jesus. The pattern of Jesus. It is a Way of love. A conquering and raging love, unstoppable, unshakable."Jimmy Spencer jr. 


This quote is taken from a writing the author did on a letter James Dobson wrote four years ago about the horrors that would happen if Obama became president. 




 The letter was shameful to say the least.  But that's not what I want to write about.  I want to write about the sad, sad division this election has brought out among my Christian brothers and sisters and yes, myself.  I truly am sad too.  



I'm not upset because they don't think like me, or vote like me or have the same convictions as myself, but sad because the hatefulness that has crept into the political chatter. 





 I'm not exempt either.  However, I do try to be aware, and it's difficult for me to take Jesus' words to heart when he constantly tells us to live by another law, and that is the law of love. 





I became a Christian during the Jesus Movement and haven't looked back since.  I have, however, rethought doctrine that I was taught and ways that I interpreted that as part of my life, part of my everyday actions. I realized how very judgemental I was, and probably still am.  But I thought that was my job as a Christian, to be wise and judge so I wouldn't 'fall away'.  That was my biggest fear..that I would fall away and....well....and be shunned.  (Yes, I watch "Breaking Amish", and no, I wasn't Amish.) It was obvious that people were shunned when they even left our church for another by what was said about them after they had left.  I have no idea why it became like that, because there was a whole lot of  good that came from that place.  There is no perfect place here on earth and that is somewhat of a comfort for me to know.  I won't find perfection here and now. 

So, getting back to the election; Romney is a momon and most Christian churches considered that a cult before he ran for President.  Now, however, simply because the extreme right has, in my opinion, hijacked a huge portion of Christianity, mormonism is no longer a cult. Ask Billy Graham's organization.  
 
“The Book of Mormon is the most correct of any book on this Earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than any other book.”
― Joseph Smith Jr., The Book of Mormon 

I digress.....Getting back to my main point; It's very sad that there is so much bickering and arguing on facebook in front of the whole virtual world.  What ever happened to "they will know you are Christians by your love?  No human is going to save our country, only we, as a whole, can do that.  We're so divided now,I just don't see it happening.  Okay, I'm rambling.  What I really want to say is that I have friends that don't really want much to do with me anymore because I am for a president who doesn't want to outlaw gay marriages or divorce.  People  have actually cut me off. 




It grieves me to no end...but I sort of accept it and will move on.  


Lastly, I want to touch on the subject of war.  The same people who hate abortion and gay marriage say nothing of the travesties of war.  They say it is a necessary evil to keep our country free.They would rather, we as a country, sort of flex our muscles and say, don't mess with us..we'll take you out.  So, because they show the horrors of abortion, I will show the horrors of war and end with that.  The pictures are graphic. 


What about the children that have been invaded? They lived through the horror. If soldiers are traumatized for the rest of their lives from taking part in the initiative to wage war, what about those that have war come to them, inside their town, neighbourhood, and home? Children, utterly helpless and trembling in fear; what about them? 
According to a Washington Post article by Sudarsan Raghavan, "Since the U.S.-led invasions in 2003, 4 million Iraqis have fled their homes, half of them children, according to the United Nations Children's Fund. Many are being killed inside their sanctuaries -- at playgrounds, on soccer fields and in schools. Criminals are routinely kidnapping children for ransom as lawlessness goes unchecked. Violence has orphaned tens of thousands." (mwc news)








“If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children.” Mahatma Gandhi quotes







 “War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always an evil, never a good. We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.” Jimmy Carter quotes
 
But Jesus said, "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children."

 
  

Thoughts On Health, My Body, and Challenges

So, I have about twenty minutes until I go work my a$$ off at Physix, my wonderful, painful and "I see results", gym.  It's really like a small group training gym with added benefits.


However, ..........it's sooooooooooo difficult.  I am tested to every degree with my own preaching of having a positive attitude.  You know, the "I can do it" attitude I always preach.  Affirmations are, undoubtedly, useful and effective, I just have to remember to use them faithfully..


My body has been serving me for 61 years.  Mmmhhhhmmm..that's right, I said 61!  No, I DO NOT feel it, and no, I don't think I look it either.  One wonders just when I will stop with pushing myself to be stronger, thinner and healthier.  I don't think I'll ever stop.


While staying with my son in Long Beach, I was sitting there, on the beach just relaxing and enjoying the moment when a woman jogged by.  She had the body of a 20 year old and the face of a 75 year old.  No, she wasn't in her 20's.  Most likely she was anywhere from the age of 60 to 80.  I believe working out and telling your body it has to be strong and fit is the fountain of youth.


Life is short, your body is your vessel, and health affects your mood.  Logging my calories, making myself do things when I feel challenged, and keeping a positive attitude all the while, is a great journey and worth the time.  I am thankful every day for the opportunity God has given me to breathe another breath, to feel the warmth of the sun, to be able to do things I wouldn't even attempt to do at 20.  I am thankful to God for the health to challenge my own strength.




I highly recommend this form of antidepressant...it's worth a million.  Have a strong day!

Learning to Love Using the Ignore Button

I don't know where to begin.  So, let me begin with this.  My husband and I get an update from a pastor whom I think is the best example of what being a Christian really is. The man is wise beyond words, humble, and probably the most loving human on earth. Not many people he comes in contact with go for long without realizing that they too can know Jesus personally.



 However, in his letter he wrote about how upsetting this election is because there is so much hate circulating around, especially on Facebook.




 I will be the first to admit, I have helped circulate the hate.





 I am trying to stop, but it's difficult because of the judgement I get. from my "sisters and brothers" in the faith.  It's also difficult because old friends that I used to know when I was young and have reconnected with, write something about how horrible our President is, and then I take the bait.




 When I responded saying that our President is not what the crazy media (Fox) says,  one woman  said she didn't think Christian and Democrat could possibly go together.  In her words, Christian and Democrat together is "an oxymoron".  Which means she pretty much doesn't' think I am a Christian.WOW!


After giving it some thought, I realize the problem is me.




I see people that I respect and the reason why I respect them is because they keep to themselves about their political preferences.


They are my example.  It does take a huge amount of discipline (for me anyway) but in the long run, it's much more peaceful on oneself.  But how can I help myself with this particular discipline of just keeping my proverbial mouth shut?  I don't have to defriend them, I can put them on ignore..then it won't upset me and then I can have peace.


My raw, human feeling that this woman is a bitch and very ignorant! But my heart says that I need to love her too.









Well, the ignore button just might be an answer to my lack of discipline in NOT taking bait. Perhaps this little button on the mighty Facebook will help me on my journey of loving others better than I do now. Thank God for Jesus, but also, thank God for the ignore button.