Late Night Ramblings On a Weeknight...and Passing the Torch

It's late on a Thursday night and I need to be up no later than 6 a.m. tomorrow...Usually I write these blogs on a weekend...but hey..it's one of those moments when the mood strikes.  And you know what they say?  Strike when the iron is hot. (Whatever that means...but I get the gist of it.)




My daughter wanted me to babysit her kids, my grandkids tonight.  I moved here for that, so I had to say yes.  She promised it wouldn't be but an hour.  And she was right.  But she called from the store on her way home from her class (She's a trainer at a great gym) and asked if there was anything she could get me. I told her 80 calorie greek yogurt and she said she was also getting a bottle of red because she had this horrible pain in her neck from maybe sleeping on it the wrong way. After a deep muscle massage, it still didn't feel much better.  Red is a great relaxer.





She came home and poured us both a small glass as the kids bombarded her with, "I'm hungry", "Can I have some ......"etc etc When they were finally settled in front of the tv watching a movie, we had our quality time together.  I can't tell you how much it means to me to just sit and hear her talk. I love it that she opens up to me and yes, I'm her mother, but also, I'm a mother/friend.  She accepts me for who I am and ditto..I accept her who she is.


Do I think of the first time I saw her with her tiny  little body all wrapped in a blanket with her rose bud mouth and her black eyes staring into mine from her aquarium like bed? Yes, sometimes.  But tonight I saw a woman focused on a career of helping people live healthy, active lives, a very supportive wife,and a mother bear of three who so wants to raise her kids to know the love of God.  Not  easy tasks, none of them!!


I'm old,  I know it sounds very self absorbent, but it's true.  I see what passing the torch truly means now.  This age is odd, and I now understand my mother, my grandmother and my great grandmother.  Maybe that's why I dream of them so often.  I believe they see me.  The bible talks about "the great cloud of witnesses" and I believe it's them, cheering us on..saying we did it..so can you.  Because sometimes...well..you know..sometimes it just ain't easy.


But I'm blessed, fortunate, whatever word you want to use for those two..that I am.  Yet I do wish I were God.  Yep, I admit it.  I wish I were God and I wish I could make everyone have happy endings..especially my kids and my grandkids etcc.  But I also have the faith to know that the real God is much kinder, much more loving and way more wise than I am, and that he has my most loved family in the palm of his hand.

I love you Shauna, more than my heart can sometimes bear.

xoxoxo..to all you mothers.