As time passed, I enjoyed all the things I told myself I would enjoy without him. I listened to country music. He hated country music. I sort of liked it, but decided it was over-rated. I went out with the 'girls'..
but when I couldn't find my car at almost midnight, and feared I would turn into a pumpkin, there was no one there to call and help guide me through the city streets.
I would come home and see pictures of our life together all over my home. There really was no escaping his memory or the love we shared. I did love him still, but couldn't live like I had been living. Arguing every week with a vengeance But loneliness was creeping in fast. Knowing him, he was already with another woman, a younger woman.
Funny how it goes, isn't it? Finally, after planning my life without him, I broke. I couldn't go on anymore, I couldn't fake it.
I needed HIM, not just another person, I needed him, in all his weaknesses, in all his faults, in spite of all the times he hurt me, I still wanted him. There was this huge void, this huge emptiness. I needed to pick up the pieces and glue them back together, however imperfect it might be, I needed it, us, back together.
When he came over that night, I hadn't seen him for what seems like an eternity. He looked so good, but still so imperfect. He also looked lost. I can only say that he looked like the man that was/is supposed to be mine..to be my other half.
And he came back. In all of his weaknesses, I love him. In all of my weaknesses, I hope he loves me too. This is what I signed up for. Fate? Providence? Maybe, but I do know this is the way it's supposed to be. And I am now happy and at peace with him as part of me.
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