Ramblings About Life and Death On a Beautiful Sunday Evening in the Desert

Now, I am sitting outside on my vintage, chalk painted brown wicker sofa, listening to the wind in the palms.  I'm looking at my little, very little, piece of paradise here in the east valley, thinking of life and how things come an go.


My three lovely, four legged friends are all around me, and my two legged lover/friend/husband, is sitting in the brown wicker chair in our little seating arrangement on our patio. (It must all match, thus the brown wicker.)  I have to say life is good.  We are dog sitting our grand-dog, Luke, who is about 14, same age as my princess Lexy.  And for them life as they know it, is almost over. Their sight is failing and their hearing has failed them a few years ago.


 I must admit, I'm getting on too.  I think of "the end" too.  Whether it be tomorrow or thirty years from now, (I would be REALLY old by today's standards thirty years from now.)  I know that soon, I will say goodbye.  I thought of that this morning during church.  I don't even know what the pastor was saying but I thought of my mortality and I think I had a very slight panic attack.  I love life.  It's about time too.  For the longest time I just sort of tolerated it.  I hate to say it, but I"m vulnerable here...so be patient.


Sitting here chatting with my other half chatting about mundane things make life very comfortable  I mean we don't sit here and discuss the ways we hope to die.  But it's there, in the back of my mind.  How will I die?  I really hate that our culture is so damn uptight about discussion concerning death.  However, my daughter says that I need to sort of keep it light if I want friends to hang out with. She's right, of course she's right, who wants to talk about death? Other than me.  

My life couldn't be better right now. I mean there are things I think of, knowing that the future is pretty much behind me as far as seeing multiple possibilities.  My life is peaceful tranquil and filled with family and friends that mean a whole lot to me. For however this sounds, my home is my little castle. It is the escape from the world of pressures and responsibilities of others. I enter this little paradise where my husband usually cooks me amazing meals on a Sunday, where my four legged loved ones greet me at the door EVERY time I come home, and where I can look at all the things these four walls contain and love each and every piece of art displayed.


Saying that, my extremely beautiful daughter called saying her and my wonderful son in law and my above average grandchildren are home from a weekend in Cali visiting their her brother and the ever so famous Disneyland.  (A place I never ever dreamed of taking my children for lack of funds in the mid west.)


Contemplating my life, I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am to be alive.  Truly, it won't be long and I won't be, but now, I'm grateful.  Love you all...xoxoxo