The Sweetness Of Now

Lying outside on my hammock, dark blue sky with silver dots that are stars over head.  I'm just looking at the beauty all around me.  The colors above me; rich, dark blue, the brilliance of  what looks like diamonds in the sky,  the patterns of foliage, and I feel so alive, so right.  I think of the song "Itchycoo Park".  
"Over bridge of sighs 
To rest my eyes in shades of green Under dreamin' spiresTo Itchycoo Park, that's where I've been
It's all too beautiful!"

Inside I hear the tv and it's luring me in to dull my mind, my senses and my awareness of "now' with it's beautiful images of clean and bright living spaces inviting me to do what I'm dong now; live. But it's only an illusion of living...right now, in the hammock, swinging, dogs playing in the yard, soft  breeze blowing,...this is living.  It's sort of a catch 22 isn't it?  

It's hgtv, which is my weakness.  But I know that if I go inside and sink into my huge, down filled leather sofa, I'll forget all of the things I'm experiencing right now...I'll forget how to put them to words.  And my thoughts at this  moment are of how beautiful this world is, how the colors all around add so much peace and joy in this imperfect world. 

 I love it!!  So I choose not to go in.  Instead I  go to my room, open my computer and do what I love to do; I write.  

Watching tv can suffocate creativity so that nothing is left but empty space in one's head. 

Lately, I have been filled with gratitude, filled with appreciation for being alive.  I haven't always been like this, I've taken it for granted.  I think I'm sort of a slow learner.  At times (more than not) I drift out of reality, out of the now.  I slide slowly into the deep waves of anxiety and worry, otherwise disguised as concern.  Then of course, a song, a blue sky, a silver star just sort of snap me back to the moment...and there it is!  All the beauty.  I mean, it's been there all along hasn't it?
Funny the way it is.  (dmb)