Politics, Frustration and Aslan

I tried, I really, really tried to stay out of politics.




I tried not to comment on facebook, I tried not to respond to people's hateful comments about opposite parties, but now, I can't hold back.





 I've written so much about this I'm sure whoever reads this is bored and thinking, "whatever"..but I took the bait and there ya have it. Most of my family is pretty conservative..No wait, they ALL are, I'm not.  Funny, my mother was pretty liberal if you actually sat down with her and asked her opinion.  (Mom, YOU understand where I'm at right now then.)  My mother was such a lady.  I really should try and be more poised and gracious like she was.  But there's so much of my father in me and I don't think, at this age, I will choose to go to the effort to change.  Who knows though?

I use this blog to vent and vent I will.  I'm not sure why, but I have a lot of "friends" on fb that are ultra conservative.  My theory is that the extreme right has hyjacked christianity.

So, considering myself a Christian, I see in the Bible, the book of Jeremiah, chapter 22, verses 16 and 17, what the prophet is saying about how God sees if a King is righteous or not, is good or not: 


"He defended the cause of the poor and needy,
and so all went well.
Is that not what it means to know me?”
declares the Lord.
¹⁷ “But your eyes and your heart
are set only on dishonest gain,
on shedding innocent blood
and on oppression and extortion.”"



I found these musings of Jeremiah on a great and thought provoking blog written by Craig Watts, minister of Royal Palms Chruch.  It's on a website called redletterchristians.org

So, someone suggested that I may be angry towards christians, or that "maybe it's a crappy attitude in general towards your Christian fb friends who don't subscribe to your opinions."  

hmmmm...food for thought anyway.  In many ways that person is probably right.




(Seriously thinking of getting rid of my fb account..gasp gasp)

So, I do strongly dislike myself when election time comes around because I see things differently from most of my  "facebook friends", and even my own family.  My husband thinks it's strange that I get so involved. That too bothers me, doesn't he know me by now?  Or did I marry myself?


Well, it's Friday and it's a new day. I think I'll look for Aslan and forgot the others.

Aslan safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the

To My Son On His Birthday

My first baby was a girl. I was hoping, when I found out that I was pregnant a second time, that it would be a boy. I wanted a boy more than I can say. As I lay on the operating table, wide awake, my belly cut open as my husband looked on, they pulled the baby out of me. For some odd reason I said "Is it a girl, is it a girl?" I knew it was a boy because they did the sonogram and told me. The room was ready with all the boyish decor. Why did I say that? the only reason I can think of is that I didn't want to be disapointed. Still, how odd.





And a true boy he was.  In those days we had dolls for boys and cars and trucks for girls.  It was a way of sort of breaking the stereotypical ideas of what boys and girls like.  Still, Ian, our boy, my baby boy, always went for the cars, trucks and building materials.




The first thing he did when I brought him home from the hospital was pee on my while changing his diaper.  You know, I slammed the diaper on his crotch to keep it from spraying in my face.  I think that was sort of a metaphor for his life from then on.  He was a thinker.  When he sat in the back in his car seat I would look in the rear view mirror and see him quietly and very still, looking out the window, pondering who knows what.  When he was old enough to talk, one night when his daddy was tucking him into his bed, he asked, "What keeps the walls on our house from falling in?"  Yep, my boy.


Of course babies grow up to be toddlers and toddlers to little boys and then little boys to big boys and boys to men.  Time: it waits for no one. 


When he was in grade school, at the end of one year, the teachers were to think of words that best described each of their students.  Ian's word? Determined. It fit so well, it was so true.  It still is.


So, this isn't going to be a blog about going down memory lane, it's just a blog to wish my boy, who is a man now, a happy birthday.  I won't be with him, but fortunately his sister and her family will be.  I'm really happy for that because they've always been close.


So son, here's to you on your 31st birthday...Your father and I are more than proud of you for who you are.  I'm proud of you for things like getting in your car and driving, and not stopping until you got to the ocean.  You are a determined man who will get what he wants, it's just up to you to find out what you really want. 

"A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him, she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew.

 

But at night time, she opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor, looked up over the side of his bed; and if he was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

 

He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown-up man. He left home and got a house across town. But sometimes on dark nights the mother got into her car and drove across town. If all the lights in her son's house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be. "

 

I wish you all you have ever hoped or dreamed for.  I love you!

 

The Shape of Things to Come...Dems and Pubs

I am sick at what is happening to our country.  Another shooting, another direspectful politcal gathering, and no one is willing to quit the game of politcal manipulation of the masses. 



The conservatives:



 Most are relatively well off, meaning a home, food on the table, a car, running water with a place to shower, a decent job and a family who will love and support them.  Most pretty much live in a  bubble and have no idea what true, poverty stricken people go through. 






Most are mainly concerned about their money with the veneer of using abortion and gay rights as a moral standard to uphold.  The whole time things are perfectly black and white, no in between! (A woman's body would never let the semen of rape impregnate her, dontcha know! ) They say they care, yet I don't see anyone who really needs help, living with any of them.  Funny the way it is!

They say they are pro-life, yet when I bring up the fact that millions of children already out of the womb, are murdered by war, they sort of repudiate my argument.




They say they are in favor of the right to carry guns. Yet when there are random and senseless shootings time after time, they are silent and defend their inanimate weapons, not seeming to show pity on the victims other than "that's so horrible. But remember, it's the person that killed, not the gun."  hmmmmmmm....go figure.





The liberals:



 I like to call this group "Champagne Liberals" because most have beautiful homes, say they care about the poor, (not even realizing that term has drastically changed) but just like the conservatives, I don't see any of them living with or caring for someone in real need. I see them supporting the poor from afar, giving money to their favorite charities, yet no one seems to want to invite someone to actually live with them.  




They say they are for "social justice" yet they don't seem to realize that some "so called" disadvantaged people  know exactly how to manipulate the system, get food stamps, have a big screen tv, cell phone, nice car and wait for their welfare checks to see them through in between their "deals".




The reason why my liberal friends don't know this is because they too, just like the conservatives, are way out of touch with the reality of what is actually going on in our country.



Here I feel like I should make you aware of some awesome people who pretty much keep their political views to themselves, but they are a true example of social justice.  They invited a young person to come and live with them, be a part of their family in the true sense.  This is a young person who really didn't have a place to live that was healthy and loving, stable and supportive, now he does.  The Martins, who are a pretty awesome family, are not rich, they have four kids of their own, and yet they did this.


People like the Martins are few and far between. They give me hope that people really can put their ideals into practice.  They take the risk.


So here we are, another election, another time for people to divide even more so.  I truly think our country is coming to a place where we will be another "has been".  Another world power that has fallen down a rung on the ladder of history.  Why?  Because it's soooo true...a house divided cannot stand. 


Funny the way it is if you think about it.........

Tuesday Afternoon, I'm Just Beginning to See, Now I'm On My Way

It's Tuesday; sort of a non day. Yet in spite of the "non day" thing, life is good.  My life has been really good these last couple of years.



 My husband and I moved to the desert two years ago this coming February and it truly is a new chapter in our lives.  Right before we moved I bought this giant wall hanging. I think it used to be an advertisement in a large store because on the other side of the side that I show is a giant eyeball.  I bought this for the opposite side of the eye.  It has on it the words " reinvent yourself"...it's written over and over; all over the canvas.  The "re" part of reinvent, and the word "yourself" is in black, and the invent part of the word reinvent is written in red.  It's on an off white background and the words all over the canvas are written backwords so the only way you read it properly is in a mirror.  Anyway, that was sort of prophetic and I think that's why I was attracted to it to begin with.  I knew I was about to sort of reinvent myself. 



Another thing about this phase of my life is that there is no drama in my marriage anymore.  That's a great thing too.  We finally learned how to live together peacefully without a lot of expectations.  Don't get me wrong, there's still that spark, and yes, there's still passion, but now we have made peace with ourselves and who we are.




So, sitting here at my giant dining table, on a very hot Tuesday evening in August, I am grateful for most all things.  I am grateful for my family, I am grateful for a beautiful home, food in my fridge, a job I love, a body that is strong and healthy, and dare I say good looking?  Sure, why not.  I am grateful for a church that stands for truth, love and tolerance of all humans.  I am so grateful for Jesus, the guy who made it all possible.  He's my hope.



There has been a lot of bad news lately.  I guess there usually is, but I try not to listen.  However, the shootings, my old friend falling down her basement steps and dying, a young woman whose cancer was in remission now seems to have brain cancer.  These things are enough to make me not want to get up in the morning. 







But I do, and I am grateful.  For now anyway.

Have a good Wednesday everyone....

"Tuesday afternoon,
I'm just beginning to see, now I'm on my way
It doesn't matter to me, chasing the clouds away.

Something, calls to me,
The trees are drawing me near, I've got to find out why
Those gentle voices I hear, explain it all with a sigh.

I'm looking at myself reflections of my mind,
It's just the kind of day to leave myself behind.
So gently swaying through the fairyland of love,
If you'll just come with me you'll see the beauty of

Tuesday afternoon, Tuesday afternoon." moody blues

In Memory of Donna

As a young girl of 20 I was pretty wild.  I had a lot going on as far as issues.  My boyfriend had just been killed in a jeep accident after I told him I never wanted to see him again (he wasn't driving)..and well...that's enough isn't it?  Yeah, issues!

 My friend from childhood and I got an apartment together, smoked a lot of grass and decided to travel.  But before we actually had plans, a girl named Donna moved in with us.  She had two little sons who were temporarily staying with their grandma, so Donna decided to do the trip with us.  Back then it was totally different...it was a lot safer, so we decided to hitch hike to Texas from Illinois and then meet a friend and he would drive us the rest of the way to the dreamland of the 1970's...L.A. 



That's how I met Donna and that's how we became relatively close.  I wound up hating Cali and I got a ride back to Illinois. I was a mess and fortunately there was the "Jesus Movement" going on.  I decided to give my life to Christ.  Donna and Carol returned some time later and thought I was silly for being a Jesus freak.  However, not too long after that, they both gave themselves over to Christ.  It stuck, but there was a lot of crap that stuck too. 



I became pretty self righteous and judgmental  (It all came back to me years and years later.) and said a lot of things I shouldn't have and as a result, hurt some people; probably a lot of people.  Donna was one of them and I pretty much alienated her.




If I were to blame anyone or anything other than myself it would be the things we were taught, or that were given to us as an example at church.  We were taught to judge, and as a result, we, as a community, judged things we had no right to judge. 



We were young and stupid.  But, I won't blame it on that.  I'll dismiss it as being young, stupid and doing the best we could do back in those days.



Fortunately, I was able to reconnect with Donna a few months ago on facebook.  She was very forgiving and life went on with happy little comments.  Last Thursday she fell down her basement steps, and died early this morning. It sort of caught me off guard, this sadness that I felt. Actually more than sadness.  I hadn't seen her for years, but my heart ached.  I think that when we share a part of our lives with someone else, a little bit of our soul, or their soul, connects to something deep inside of us. 




At this point I wish that could write some eloquent words about our times together, how wonderful she was.  Yes, she was beautiful, yes, she was kind, and yes, she loved well.  I know this because of  what her daughter had said about her. However, I cannot say too much, for time and other things separated us.  Still, I'm sad today and had to write.


  So, Donna , here's to you.  I hope you are free and happy.  I hope you give your family little signs of your newly found peace.  I'm sorry we disconnected.  But I have learned, through your death, that life is so very fragile.  I always knew it, but this is proof. Rest in peace.


In loving memory of Donna.

“Slowly, quietly, like snow-flakes—like the small flakes that come when it is going to snow all night
—little flakes of me, my impressions, my selections, are settling down on the image of her. The real shape wil be quite hidden in the end.”
― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

More Political Venting

I think it’s interesting that right wing tea party Christians want a Mormon for president.  They definitely believe Mormonism is a cult and I have heard numerous negative comments about the religion itself.  But hey, it’s a white man’s religion.  That’s right.  Most Mormons, up until the late 1970’s were taught that black people had a curse on them and that’s why their skin is dark.  OMG!!!

People like rules, people like laws. Laws of the land keep chaos from breaking out, most of the time anyway.  But also, laws can be distorted and misused to cause oppression.  Look at the punk band in Russia, Pussy Riot.  They were given two years in prison for a thirty minute bout in a church used by politicians that promote Putin, a rather disliked leader. 

 Laws, especially in religion,  keep people under the illusion that they are safe. 

And sometimes it’s not an illusion.  Sometimes it ‘works’.  Yet all things come to an end and the realization that true freedom, although scary (we seem to be afraid of ourselves mostly) is taking responsibility for our own actions.

Mormonism is filled with rules and regulations.  There are so many very clean cut Americans who follow the Mormon belief.  From my understanding, all the people who serve in the Mormon religion are “asked” volunteers.  Even the pastors do not get a salary.  If a part of the clergy “ask” you to do something, “you do it.”  This is a quote from a Mormon friend of mine.

It’s also interesting that the extreme right want freedom in some areas but not others.  Usually it’s about money and guns. 

So, apparently Romney is their man.  I find this interesting because again, most of the evangelicals that I know consider him to be part of a cult.  Let me clarify “cult”.  In Christianity cult was anything or any belief that oppressed and denied freedom of choice once you are a member of their church. If you didn’t follow their belief, well…there would be trouble for you in high places. 

That’s all sideline stuff really.  The real issue of my blog is that I am so disheartened about this country’s political division it doesn’t leave much hope in me for any sort of social redemption. Maybe we should go back to just not talking about who we would vote for and making it sort of a private affair.  You know, just make it between you and the voting booth.  I think there are too many egos involved to do that though.  It seems there are too many identities tied up with political meanderings for this to be possible.

I’m on facebook, and who isn’t these days.  I see people on there who are ‘devout’ Christians, who talk trash about politicians so much more than they talk about love of God. 

 Of course if you disagree with them they arrogantly dismiss you and consider you a “stray from the fold and going against all the founding fathers stood for.”  What’s with that?  They believe they stand up for“social justice”, but they pick and choose what they define as social justice based on scripture; their interpretation of scripture.  When I, or anyone else, show proof that there are other issues, like poverty, taking care of widows, single moms etc, they totally find their own definition again.  Wow…very frustrating. 

Now here's the good news.  Our daughter is a Christian and we have these discussions all the time.  She tells me that younger christians aren't like that.  She tells me younger Christians care about things other than guns, gay marriage and abortion.  She tells me the younger generation really do have a different perspective and really do want to stay tuned into the ideals that Jesus truly taught.

I hope so...and hope is keeps a heavy heart going.