Ramblings

It's been a while since I"ve written.  I'm finally alone in my living room.  I've lived in this house for almost 6 weeks and only two of them I've been alone.  Well, sort of.  My mother in law has been here almost 5 weeks and then two days after she leaves my father in law and his wife will be here for 2 weeks.  Seriously?  A lot of visitors when one is trying to set up a new abode after 20 years in another.

Sitting here in the beautiful land of the sun I am mellowing. And, now that I am alone to just listen to my oldest dog breathe, and the ceiling fan hum, I am sighing.  I am appreciating and reflecting.  I miss my son.  He is in L.A.  My daughter is literally just around the bend and the other side of the small mountain. (A 15 minute walk and a 2 minute drive.)  But I miss him very much. Sons are like that.  What's the saying?  "A son is son until he finds a wife and a daughter is a daughter all of her life."  Well...just in case you don't know, my son hasn't found a wife.  So there ya have it. He was a handful when I was raising him. But then again, all leaders are like that in youth.  I knew from the minute I laid eyes on him he was a leader.  He didn't know it for years.  At least I know he wondered.  I know though, that he knew something! 

He teases me that I haven't been to see his new home since he's been there for a year.  I know, I know.  L.A.....I mean it's huge.  I know that I can drive there easily.  Driving down the 10 there are signs immediately pointing my way towards L.A.  I'm old and I'm a little apprehensive to drive 6 hours in unkown territory.

I miss him..That's the thing. But I'm very, very happy he's independent.  Not happy for me, but for him.  It's so important to be independent.  I know that for so long I wasn't.  I still don't think I am.  But I am as much as I'm going to be in this life.

Which leads me to regrets.  Do I have any?  Come on!! Do you?  If you don't I wonder about your level of enlightenment.  I regret soooo much. I regret the way I disciplined.  I went to a church that was militant about spanking.  They were wrong...Just let me put that nicely.  I did my best though. 

It's interesting how introspective I become when drama dies down and I have time; peaceful time to reflect.  Well, there's a dog crying in the yard behind me, (which I HATE) and distractions abound.  I will call it night for this blog.  In the meantime...if you read this....reflect while you're young and take care.