Well there ya have it. That's where I am. I have been living in my new home for about two and a half months now and there has been so much going on inside of my own head. I'm not a young thing anymore and that probably contributes to the complexity of it all.
I quit my job almost a year ago to concentrate on moving, selling our home of twenty years, and of course, decluttering. The emotional ups and downs are too numerous to mention. My husband travels quite a bit so although married, we indeed live two different types of lives. He has his career with it's ups and downs and I have....well....that's a good question. I really don't have anything going on anymore except the fact that I need a job and I need a sort of, purpose. I WAS a teacher for years. I absolutely loved it. However my teacher's status was a bit limited. And that's a whole 'nother blog. But for now, I am looking for a job; a way to make some extra income, otherwise known as money.
On Thursday I have an interview for a postition as an after school art teacher. Quoting the company that is offering this position, it's a "very part time job". Okay, good enough. However, I'm in a sort of an unusual situation. For years I've wanted to do something with interior design, which is something I know I have talent for. Yet, teaching and children is something I always seem to go back to.
A long time ago, when I was young and began a search for self, I was in Boulder, Colorado. I was truly having a life crisis and was just sitting by this amazing stream in a beautiuful park. It seemed to me an angel, in the form of a college student came up to me and began a conversation. I don't really remember anything she said except for one thing. But before I tell you, let me tell you what I said to her. I told her that I was trying to go beyond what I had been before. I told her that my whole life had been turned upside down and it was sort of "freaking me out" and I wanted to go home. She told me that it was okay to go home, but to never "go back"...she said I couldn't ever go back. WOW...she was right. It was sort of a "God thing". Soooo, if I went "back to" teaching..would that be going back????
How does that relate to where I am now? Hmmm. I'm actually not so sure. But I know that I wake up everday and wonder why I'm here. I mean I know that my family loves and needs me and all that. Yet I want more. I obviously want to make money, but I'm spoiled. All of my life I have done what I've enjoyed, and I'm hoping to contintue.
I still have that song on my mind, "The Dog Days Are Over" by the Florence and the Machine. I love that!
In the meantime, if you've read this, thank you....I'll keep you updated. Life is complex isn't it? To those who don't think so, maybe they just aren't awake. Not to be judgemental...maybe they're just luckier than me and life is simple and pleasant. Geeez..that would be nice....
Take care and see you next time.
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