Dear Mom,It's been a while since we last spoke, but you're on my mind almost every day. I miss you and wish you were here. I want to thank you for teaching me to love. You taught by example. You listened to me no matter what I was saying. I remember when I decided to sort of run away with an old boyfriend. You weren't happy, but you still were there, you didn't fault me. Of course the night Dave died. You felt my pain, I can still see you. I was hysterical, but you didn't cry, although I know you wanted to. You just held me, cared for me.
I think the love you gave me is the closest thing to God's love in this faulty, imperfect world.
You would laugh with me, listen to me, and were always there when I needed help. You were probably one of the most beautiful women I have ever known. Your outside beauty was stunning, but your heart was even more beautiful. You taught me to embrace my desire for beauty.
I want to apologize for blaming you for so many issues I have. Maybe that's just what happens though, know what I mean? I'm sure my own kids will come, and have come face to face with their 'stuff' and thought of me and how I contributed. Still, you gave me so much to help make it through this life.
I miss you mom...I really do. You went away too early. I think you wanted to spare your kids from what you went through with your own mother and grandmother. Still, my heart aches for you sometimes. I wear the earrings you gave me just to feel you near. It sort of works.
I wrote a whole 'nother letter and somehow lost it. In any case, on this 2011 Mother's Day, I want to say I love you and thank you for you. I'll see you again, in the meantime, I hope you still see me, I see you.
With much love,
Pegala
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