I realize, I mean really realize that most of my life is now behind me and, well....uh..death is closer than ever before. I mean sure, death is always ahead of you and yes, we always are one day closer to death..yada yada yada. However, turning 60 has changed my thoughts. I wanted to compete with women in their 30's when I was in my early 50's, and I confess, even my mid and late 50's. Now, it really doesn't seem to matter anymore. Is it freeing? Not really. Is it oppressive, no, not at all. I guess the best thing that I can say it is, is that it's just time passing. I realize now, more than ever, that time is, indeed, passing. That all things pass in time; the good the bad and the ugly.
I was thinking about the year 2060. I calculated that my grand-daughter would still be alive and thriving in her 50's. I also calculated that I would be long gone. Soooo odd! All those cliches and poems about life being a drop in the bucket of life and so on...they are beginning to totally make sense. I mean I knew thos things were true, but only in my mind. Now, I know them in my heart.
Getting older is strange. I don't feel old, but yet when I look back at all that I've experienced it's like I'm a cat with nine lives. Still, there is so much more I'd like to do. Not that I can't do more, it's just that life truly belongs to the young. People in our society and other societies for that matter, expect their 'elders' to sort of retire in their mid 60's.
I would like to say that I have that luxury, but I don't. So when I'm talking about being 'young'..I'm talking about job security and things like that. I never used to even think of things like that. Not until I turned 60.
Are there good things about 'aging'??? Of course. I'm so much more at peace with myself. My daughter and I were talking tonight about being around people who are at peace with themselves and who are not. I think being at peace with yourself is accepting yourself just as you are and knowing you're good! Knowing that you're beautiful and knowing you were made in the image of God. And, God is love...totally love.
Soooo...being 60? I still think about my sexuality. Now don't start thinking tv sexuality or movie sexuality. I mean the fact that I'm a woman. I love beauty, I'm probably more intuitive than most men, and I desire love and harmony. Not that all humans don't, but women I think, do so in a bigger way.
Being 60 is, yes, a bit odd, a bit scarey and I still feel not much over 30 in my mind and heart. I'm either totally immature or most everyone feels this way. I'm not sure, I haven't taken a poll In any case...I'm trying to redefine 60 without all the stereo types I grew up with. I think I"m doing a pretty good job.
Bye for now..and stay in the moment; you'll never have another one like this one. Love!
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