Rainy Night In Phoenix

It's a rainy night in Phoenix. The slow, steady kind of rain...the kind with rhythm.





 It rarely rains like this. Usually the evening sky is as open as a playing field waiting for it's next game. Not tonight. The colors before sunset were magnificent.  But I must say.  I'm not a fan of rain. It's grey and reminds me of tears.  Giant tears from all the pain this imperfect world needs to shed.




 I know, rather dramatic.


 But I mean it. I don't like rain much.  And I didn't realize it until I moved here. I thought I was this great fan of all the four seasons the great plains had to offer. However, I slowly started to realize that my favorite season, fall, was limited to about six nice days that didn't feel like hellish "Indian Summer", or freezing winter.



Then, I moved to the desert and had this sort of aha moment.  I knew that sunshine really did put a smile on my face, palm trees are wispy, but beautiful and happy, and living without oak trees made the sky open up as I've never seen before.




My beautiful little sister posted this quote on my fb page:



So with that, where do I start?  What should I focus on?  Death?  I love that subject. Aliens? Not so much, but I would indulge.  Sex? Always! Magic? Indeed! Intellect? Sometimes. The meaning of life? YES!






So,at church today I interpreted what the pastor spoke about to sort of fit into this category.  The meaning of life...Now, before I begin to ponder, just remember I am writing from this type of mood:  My beloved dog, companion and confidant just drowned in our little fountain out back.  I had a very bad week at work, and because of the latter, my self confidence has been dashed upon rock as a lost ship in a huge storm out at sea.  Last but not least, I am old and still have a house payment.

hmmmmmmmmm...You probably should stop reading here if you want encouragement...because you wont' get that from my blog..the blog where I vent and not many people read it anyway so go for it Peggy!


In my 40's and 50's I was full of hope and purpose. I believe I helped many kids reach their full academic potential and I feel that I had almost saved my part of the world. Now, in my 60's, I'm not so sure and I'm tired.







The world has changed. Even the educational world is just a place where data is what rules in each student's life and paperwork is as important as personal and professional relationships.





I'm old. I don't seem to fit into that frame of thinking. I'm not sure if I want to. Yet until my house is paid off, I can't move.  I carry on.



It's a rainy night in Phoenix. Rain has always given me a sort of melancholy mood.  So it's befitting for it to rain tonight.

I am one of the fortunate ones. I have the most amazing, beautiful, intelligent, talented gradkids on the face of God's earth. (And yes, the earth REALLY does belong to God in spite of all the damn nut jobs.)  I live for these babies; for these individuals who are growing up in this complicated world with the intelligence of someone I wouldn't have even began to imagine "in my day".






My grand daughter Maya for instance. I had the privilege of being able to watch my grandkids while my daughter and son in law went to party on Saturday night. (My daughter was all like, "I'm so grateful for you mom, watching my kids.) But I AM SO GRATEFUL for her having these children that are part of my heritage, part of my blood. And I get to be with them.  Soooo...Maya, my grand daughter, wasn't feeling well. It was sweet lying with her on her sick bed, chatting about life.

She said something like, "Poppy, (that is what SHE named me. Thank God, because I'm not fond of the name "grandma".)  you were really a "real" hippy weren't you?"  "Of course!" I answered, "Welll, yeah, I really was."

The rain has stopped now. Even the slow, steady rains don't go on too long here in the desert. I'm glad of that. So I"m going to end this rambling blog.  Life is funny.  If you don't remember one thing I have to say, remember just this: It goes by way too fast.  And suddenly you're gone. Like my Lexy.  You're damn gone.  And there ya have it.  Good night Phoenix.  I love you!